Are you That willing to Break me?
by Miyavilurver
Summary: Abandoned. Why did I ever write this? I must've been high lol. Don't even click on this.
1. Chapter 1: Shredding

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Warning: Rape, depression, cursing, yaoi, etc.**_

_**Main Pairings: GaaraxNaru one-side, SasuxNaru, **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Would I be writing FAN-fiction if i did?**_

**_-----_**

_**The raindrops are falling.**_

_**Smiles are falling too.**_

_**The Earth is dying.**_

_**My soul is dying too.**_

_**The Pain is coming.**_

_**The End is coming too.**_

_**What more do you want from me?**_

_**I have nothing.**_

_**Slice.**_

_**Drip.**_

_**My blood spills for you.**_

_**When I'm alone I don't suffer.**_

_**Please don't hate me.**_

_**Please don't hurt me.**_

_**This is the End.**_

_**Naruto

* * *

**_

_**Chapter 1**_

Hiss.

"You know, you and me are very much alike." He whispers. His fingernails scratch downwards in an attempt to caress my blood-spattered face.

"And you're so very pretty now that the nine-tails isn't here to heal you."

I groan. He pulls at my hair and I wince before staring back up to his face, a hazy sight in a mixture of pain.

"There's no one left to save you. No one at all. You've always been dependant on him, haven't you? You ignorant loser." He presses our lips together. My heart takes bruise after bruise with each word _spat_ at me.

_What did I do? Why are you doing this? _

"You're alone. You've always been alone. They're lying to you! Nobody cares, they're using you and you know it! Don't lie to your self, you're nothing! That's why we're so alike, **nobody** cares! All they want to do is hurt!"

_Isn't that what you're doing to me too, you hypocrite? Taking advantage of me just like them? _

**_Miserable bastards, what more do you all want from me?_**

His hands wander and touch. Dirt, poison, and filth that sticks to my skin. Licks and nails, and breathing exhaled. Corrupted air is exchanged. The world around me feels abstract. I can only remember his actions. The nuzzle of my neck, the bruising of teeth against lips, the tears that refused to fall, even to appear.

"S…stop! bast…tard!" I gasp out.

He lingers, and touches me places no one has before. I feel dirty.

He squeezes me once, feathery touches that turn harsher and harder. I grunt. A choked growl of desperation escapes me as I struggle against his grip.

There's no such thing as pain or pleasure, just abuse.

"I don't care and no one else does either." He whispers, and it's a poisonous whisper that spreads and contaminates. "Such a pretty thing shouldn't go to waste though."

His hands are touching me again, traveling through my body in a giddy ride. The insanity of it all makes me want to laugh, makes me want to scream.

_Damn. Dammit all! Damn the village! Damn everything! Damn the goddamn kyuubi! Why won't they understand! I didn't do anything! I'm not the fucking nine-tailed fox! Why the hell do they have to hate me so much! Are they really that stupid? Are they really that ignorant! Are they really that blind to hate me for something I didn't do? _

Blue eyes glared with bitterness and resentment.

_What's the point? Why should I keep that insufferable fake smile of mine? And what for? No one will care. No one would fucking care! I'm worthless to them. ALWAYS THAT DAMN WORTHLESS FOX!_

He grabs me, his inhumanly long nails dig into my face.

Forgotten tears prickle, my face is wet.

Blue-green piercing eyes dance in malicious joy. Fingers probed and I gasp. I met red hair as he moved to my collarbone, biting and sucking, nails still scratching, and digging, and hurting.

_How did I end up here? Where is everyone? _

That's only my subconscious pleading.

I knew nothing will help.

Fingers left me and I sighed in delirious relief. My throat withheld a chocked sob, not long after.

My mouth was filled by his essence. He pulled at my hair, pushing me closer. Deadly threats are spoken and hissed, I unwillingly obeyed. My tongue felt the acidic taste of his semen in my mouth, his moans made me writhen and I choked as he thrusted in an unexpected jerk.

He came. I swallow him fully, liquid squirting everywhere.

I felt my head spin, my uneven breathing becoming harsher as his fingers penetrated me again. I feel dirty. So filthy! I could feel the grime under my skin! I want to get out of here! Let me go!

Conscious? Subconscious? Who cares? I want to get out!

I gasp out, the pain is unbearable.

I whimpered at the cracking sound my head made as it connected with cold concrete.

He ravishes my lips before moving southward, greedily taking me inside his mouth. He's biting and sucking, making me moan and sob.

He's messing with my feelings dammit!

He plays with me, and nips me, and I feel completely out of this world. It stops and I'm back in reality.

I hiss and throb with wanting release.

The aching pleasure that's bringing me bliss and disgust is overcome by pain. I felt myself break as I realized my want, my aching desperation. He stopped and is watching me whimper under his gaze.

Poking, prodding, touching.

My fist connected to a wall sand in a weak attempt. The other grinned. I knew he enjoyed this torture.

"Ah!" I cried out in masochistic pleasure as he bit me. He squeezed me in his hand again, making me see stars as he starts plummeting inside of me.

He slammed and pushed fast and hard, and it's making me lose consciousness. Teeth bite and hands wander; I'm kept awake through the ordeal.

I felt an eternity go by in seconds, his thrust never ending, never wavering. Rapid movements trick my mind, it seems like forever. This torture, this pain, I closed my eyes tightly, wishing this was nothing but a cursed nightmare.

Everyone hurts me.

He spills inside of me and pushed himself out.

"You're nothing but an unwanted loser Uzumaki." Those were the dim words I heard before I started losing consciousness once again, but something tells me I'll never be able to forget those words.

Is it because of this experience?

Or….

Is it the overwhelming feeling that I know that it's true?

In the back of my mind, I barely acknowledged the shuffles and warmth returning to me. The battered clothes replaced on my torn body as he disappears, leaving me on the floor for someone to find me. Of course I didn't know this. All I knew was as the last sense of me gave up to the darkness, I could hear a faint scream from far away.

"Naruto!"

The ghost of a smile was on my face as arms draped around me.

* * *

**_Sniffs._**

**_Review and save his soul from the darkness._**

**_Rya._**


	2. Chapter 2: Voices

**Are you that willing to break me?**

**_Everything was pain _**

**_Throb _**

**_He was infused with me _**

**_Torture _**

**_He's got a hold of me _**

**_A slap _**

**_Why do I have to suffer? _**

**_Always. _**

**_My life _**

**_Life? _**

**_What's life? _**

**_This is… _**

**_I can only call it hell _**

**_But _**

**_He… _**

**_Who-? _**

**_Begging _**

**_Or not? _**

**_I'm just _**

**_numb _**

**_Unthinking _**

**_Unblinking _**

**_Dead _**

**_Don't feel _**

**_Can't feel _**

**_Pain? _**

**_Emptiness. _**

**_Is this? _**

**_Or am I…. _**

**_truly _**

**_Dead? _**

**Naruto

* * *

**

Ouch.

I was waking up and well, everything was cold. Freezing.

My body gave a groan as I sat up.

White walls. White ceiling. White beds. White-freaking-everything dammit! And was it just me or was this room really, _really_ _cold_! Who the hell put on the air this low? Assholes…

Ugh, hospitals. Too white, too bright, too cold. Quiet as hell too. I hated them. Why in the world was I here for anyway?

I looked around. I was alone.

How did I get here?

**_You're nothing but an unwanted loser Uzumaki…. _**

I gave a startled gasp. A wild eyed look took place as I bit my lip, memories coming back to me.

_You're alone. You've always been alone! They're lying to you! They don't care! They're using you and you know it! _

My eyes glazed over.

_Don't lie to your self, you're nothing! That's why we're so alike, nobody cares! All they wanna do is hurt!_

**_you're nothing but an unwanted loser Uzumaki…. _**

_:Flaming red hair: _

**unwanted loser **

_:green eyes, piercing:_

**unwanted loser **

_:hypnotizing:_

**unwanted loser **

_Where is everyone? Where is everyone! _

Desperation? Or was it madness?

**_nothing _**

**_you're nothing! _**

**nothing! **

_:blood:_

_S…stop!_

_:nails, they rack and tear and **bleed**:_

Who can save you now? **No one. **

**Nobody cares. **

_Stop it!_

You've always been alone!

_:unwanted:_

always alone

_:hated:_

always alone

_:scorned:_

**alone. **

_That hurts you bastard!_

**unwanted **

nobody cares! All they wanna do is hurt!

_hurt_

**_hurts! _**

unwanted loser

unwanted loser!

_:it...hurts...don't...stop...please...: _

**Loser! **

**Monster! **

**Abomination! **

"Naruto…"

'_loser……'_

'_unwanted……'_

'_get away!'_

'_monster!'_

'_you killed them!'_

'_die you stupid fox!'_

'_get away from my children!' _

_'Monster! Leave! You don't deserve to be on this village!'_

"**_Naruto!"_ **

It was like waking up from a nightmare and another sob's unheard as I fought for my composure. I looked up, and greeted my guest with a big fox grin. My face felt strained.

"Iruka-sensei!" I yelled a little too happily, too fakely, too loudly. I hoped he hadn't noticed.

Now comes the overwhelming hug and I flinched.

Memories again.

'_It's not him! he's not here. He's not here!' _

"Oh, are you ok? Did I hurt you?" He asked in a worried rush and I looked down and avoided his eyes.

"The doctors said they couldn't find any wounds when you were brought over, the Kyuubi most likely took care of them on the way back to Konoha." That last part was said softer, quieter. "When the team found you, you were all beaten up. What happened?"

"Heh…It was nothing, I just got into a fight and I kinda lost…..heh…"

'_Couldn't tell them. I can't! I can't! I won't!'_

"Ouch! What the hell did you do that for Iruka-sensei!" I whined out as he hit the back of my head. I tried desperately to control myself from breaking down right then and there.

My teacher's arms went back around my body and I lightly trembled.

_'stop' _

"You stupid brat! Making us all worry like that!" The chunnin reprimanded and the gennin tried suppressing another flinch.

_Stupid….._

_useless…_

_Unwanted….. _

_:green eyes: _

_That's why we're so alike! _

_Nobody cares! _

_An **act**! _

_A **lie**! _

**_Hate _**

_They **hate**! _

**_Hate _**

_Hate….**you **_

Again brought out of my thoughts, the door was suddenly opened.

People swarmed in.

Black. White. Pink.

I was met with a scowl, a glance, and a yell.

"Naruto!"

* * *

Redid it, **again.** It's for the sake of the plot! 

anyways,

till next time

**_Rya._**


	3. Chapter 3: Insight

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Green**_

_**Everything green**_

_**The grass**_

_**The trees**_

_**Everyone**_

_**Everywhere**_

**_Emerald eyes_**

_**Red**_

_**Like blood**_

_**Like that day**_

_**Like that pain**_

**_Just like his flaming hair_**

_**I don't ever want to see it again**_

_**Black**_

_**The darkness within me**_

_**Engulfing me**_

_**The darkness that surrounded those eyes **_

_**they haunt me.**_

_**Can't sleep**_

_**Wont sleep**_

_**Too haunted**_

_**My dreams**_

**_My reality_**

_**Won't say**_

_**Can't say**_

_**Shame**_

_**Disgust**_

_**Too weak**_

_**Must escape**_

_**But I can't do anything but scream.**_

_**And all you do is smile**_

_**Maniacally**_

_**Maliciously**_

_**Or do you smirk?**_

_**Cold**_

_**Uncaring**_

_**I really**_

_**Dunno**_

_**It's that creepy feeling that I know you're watching**_

_**When you're really**_

_**Not**_

_**And now**_

_**All I say is the pain**_

_**That will haunt me forever**_

_**Until the days of my end**_

_**And I can only hope**_

_**Will it be soon?**_

_**Naruto**_

* * *

_He seems a bit off_ were his first thoughts when he entered through the door. 

As always loud

Hyperactive

Annoying

But

He seemed a bit off

Too

Familiar

Not Him

I mean his

Feelings?

His emotions?

Too….

I don't know

But that look

It was….

too familiar

I've seen it

Too much in my own eyes

The look of…

That traumatized look….

Haunted

Filled with memories one would rather forget

What happened before I found him?

I would ask that but

I'm being plagued by another question

Why do I care?

* * *

He was…different 

He was keeping something that's for sure; he seemed a bit more placid now.

Though only externally

Internally….

One can only guess so many times what really happened to him but…

It's best to wait until he comes out and say it himself

There really wasn't much evidence to know what happened anyways.

And knowing Naruto….

He sighed

It would take a long while before that stubborn brat told the whole story- if he even told it at all.

Then again Ibiki could help but that guy….

He sighed again.

He just hoped it wasn't anything too serious. That kid already had a lot going through his life.

And again he sighed.

He knew his thoughts were wrong. That look, was too traumatized to be put off as nothing.

And Sasuke?

As soon as they had entered this room he stiffened

I'm sure he saw that look too before it was all masked again.

This is the genius rookie after all.

Sakura wasn't too off behind either.

He sighed.

He would have to speak with the Hokage soon

* * *

This was…creepy. 

The atmosphere could be called tense.

And I was…annoyed.

That stupid Naruto got himself in trouble again!

That was… what I had wanted to say but when we walked into the room we all noticed that look.

Naruto's eyes

They were….

She shuddered.

Scary...

Nevertheless she yelled at the boy as she tried to change the mood of the room that had thickened.

And everything fell into routine

Though a bit too fakely.

She yelled

The blonde made excuses in his loud boisterous self, eyes closed which she was glad of.

Sasuke-kun stayed quiet yet seemed a bit pensive which was unusual of him.

Kakashi-sensei was as always giving some offhanded remarks as he read through his Icha-Icha Paradise

And Iruka-sensei?

He was frowning

Must be worried.

* * *

From the moment I walked into his room I noticed something was wrong. 

I called his name repeatedly but he seemed to be in another world

Though I didn't want to admit it I was scared.

In the many years I've known him I've never seen that look in his eyes.

It was

Fear

Panic

A wild, unreal, untamed look

An emotion too raw, too _pained_

And I really wonder what happened to him for him to be in this state.

He came back unscathed

But he's been here for more than a week!

Ok maybe that's exaggerating a little

But he had no physical wounds! And with the Kyuubi's powers he should be alright shouldn't he?

That's what I had thought

But what happened to him for him to be like this?

And to mask it too?

I though I've gotten rid of that after that night at the forest

That night he had found out about the fox and his emotions went wild. But then… after my confession….and then after I told him he graduated….

He had been so happy

And around me his masks all fell

always

But now

I feel like we're back to square one

* * *

If you don't know the order, first pov is sasuke, followed by kakashi and sakura and last is iruka. 

btw you might wanna go back and read the other chapters because i changed some stuff.

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

**Rya.**


	4. Chapter 4: Deceit

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Too confused**_

_**too bewildered**_

_**so afraid**_

_**do they even care?**_

_**right**_

_**wrong**_

_**who knows?**_

_**do I even care?**_

**_do I wanna know?_**

**_lies_**

****

**_deceit_**

**_unknown_**

**_everything's too fake_**

**_and I know nothing more than a cursed life_**

**_I wish I was dead_**

**_but why do you have to ask me if I really do_**

**_when I'm unsure myself_**

**_do I?_**

**_am I?_**

**_will I?_**

**_be dead?_**

**_or aren't I already?_**

**_I don't know_**

**_again._**

**_What do I know?_**

**_what do I_**

**_really want?_**

_**Naruto

* * *

**_

**Chapter four**

I think they known. I'm not sure but I think they do. They know something happened.

Why would I be in the hospital with no wounds if something didn't happen? Obviously they found me in a bad state but the Kyuubi healed me on the way so they couldn't know what happened.

But. I'm still here aren't I?

They keep looking at me with apprehension and maybe insecurity I guess they don't know everything. They're not sure.

But

Do they suspect?

Do they have a clue of what happened to me?

I hope not.

I don't want their pity.

Would they actually care?

Should I tell?

But...

I can't!

I can't! I can't! I won't tell them!

I just can't!

Sakura already tried getting everything back to normal, Kakashi... I don't think he really cares, same with Sasuke-teme but they still... but I won't

I won't tell them, not even Iruka-sensei. I know how much he worries but I can't!

How should I put it?

Um yeah, nothing really happened to me! I swear! It's just some guy with red hair and green eyes just happened to rape me but that's it, seriously I'm ok?

But I'm not!

I'm not ok!

I don't know anything

How did he know about the fox?

He hated me too right?

Because he did that to me

He hated me just like the rest...

And I know all he was saying was the truth

Why would they even care for a demon?

And now I can't even open my eyes to see them, because I know they'll see it too.

My pain.

I just know they'll see how much this has affected me.

Even if they don't know the reason.

They know something happened to me.

I've never been that good at hiding my emotions, always masks but I don't think I can even do that anymore.

At least not at the moment.

But I don't wanna close my eyes!

I don't wanna hide it all!

Because every time I close my eyes I remember more!

It's a living nightmare!

That haunts me at every second I'm awake or I'm asleep!

Every time I close my eyes I can see him doing...everything he did!

and I can't do anything else than to try to hide my pain!

Because I don't want them to know!

I don't want their pity!

I don't want sympathy!

I want them to leave me alone!

But…

That means they care right?

If they do...

That means they care

Right?

Right?

No

No

No, that's not right

It's fake

That's right

Right?

He told me so

They're lying

They're all lying

It's fake

All a lie

I'm a lie

I'm a lie too

I hide behind masks

I'm a lie

Just like them

They lie and lie

Just like me

Everything's a lie

It's a play

A sick disturbing never ending play

I don't want them to know

I won't let them know that I'm more of a lie

That I'm nothing but a weak shinobi!

I couldn't even make Hokage!

There's no way!

I know there's no possible way that a demon like me can become a Hokage in this village that despises me so.

They'd leave before letting me!

But then why do they pretend to care!

I know they can't possibly care for me!

He said so!

I know he's right!

They've always hated me!

Why care now?

And why won't they leave!

it's...it's not true...

he's

wrong

right?

he's right!

right..?

yeah...

I want them to leave and stop pretending to care...

I want them to leave and stop pretending to care!

I wanna be out of this hospital already and why won't they leave me alone!

They keep touching me!

Touching this dirty flesh of mine and all I can see is him...

But why do they keep pretending to care!

They probably just want me to tell them what happened, confirm what they think,

and then they'll laugh

And make fun of me

And hate me even more

A weak shinobi who couldn't protect himself!

Ha!

but

part of me

no...

_I_ want to

I really do

But I know I won't

Cause I can't

I refuse to tell them because they'll see that I'm nothing but monster now more cursed than before.

And all the bitter laughs I share

And all the blood spilled

And all the pain I have

They won't know it

And they wont know that the red haired guy was right.

That I am nothing but a dirty and cursed monster

I'm unwanted

I know

And I should have known it from the beginning

Should have know it was a lie

A plot to later get to me

I should have known it from the beginning

I shouldn't have let them come close

I should have just...

But I didn't wanna be alone

I didn't want that loneliness

I didn't

I didn't

I

I...

I just

I don't know what I want anymore

But

I do wanna forget him

I can't though

I can't

All I can

All I do know is

the truth is

The truth is that he gave more than the pain he caused me

He gave me exactly that

The truth

It's a lie

I'm a lie

Everything's fake

I'm a fake

And the thing I want most

The think that I wanted and needed

Was all fake

And I am truly alone

And I'm truly

**_You're nothing but an unwanted loser Uzumaki...

* * *

_**

**_Heh, how was that?_**

**_Now, I'm a little unsure whether to make the Kyuubi want to heal him and help him or to making a bit manipulative and all blood lusty so Naruto has a bad influence. Either way I will make him revengeful when we see Gaara and for those of you who did not go back and read the other chapters Tsunade is not in this fic, they will have the Chunnin exams soon so they haven't met Gaara yet except Naruto of course. Give me feedback on how you want Naruto to act from now on. Mask it all? Maybe bitter? Outwardly and/or Inwardly? Or be a bit more coldly? I'm planning on him to make him a bit mask-ish so Sasuke can help him from there; anyways it's all on your opinion m'kay? So please review and help me out here!_**

**_Rya._**


	5. Chapter 5: Frustration

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**I want no one!**_

_**Why won't you leave!**_

_**I don't need anybody!**_

_**I'm fine!**_

_**Always been fine**_

_**Never needed ya**_

_**Never wanted ya**_

_**Never asked ya**_

_**Never**_

_**Never**_

_**Never!**_

_**So what if I didn't want to exist anymore?**_

_**No one wanted me anyways**_

_**Why do you pretend?**_

_**Why do you tell me you care!**_

_**Why are you doing this?**_

_**Stop**_

_**Stop!**_

_**Stop!**_

**Naruto

* * *

**

The day went by as always. They actually let me leave the hospital at last. Not that they would care if the monster was injured. It was probably the Sandaime ordering them to keep me there. Ha, stupid old man what does he care?

It's back to missions now, D rank though, Iruka-sensei's being a drama queen and every time we ask for more he starts throwing a fit.

Yeah, I'm still a happy-go-lucky-idiot, on the outside; inside….I won't deny that that asshole can't leave my mind, persists in haunting me at night, but at least it has gotten better to hide it in the mornings. That's the good thing about living alone, I guess. No one can see me at night while I'm shivering in bed or hear my screams which I've learned to muffle in the pillows.

I sighed.

We finished today's missions a while ago actually; Kakashi (1) already dismissed us.

I was at the lake again; I still like to fool myself that I'm actually more than nothing sometimes, so I stare at my reflection in the water.

It was a close call, avoiding Iruka-sensei that is. He insist on being with me on every free time he has to keep an eye on me or something, I can't understand why he persists so much. I just want to be alone, want him to stay away and stop trying to fool me. Why can't he understand that?

Why won't he understand the pain he causes me by trying to be near?

I started skipping the stones, frustrated; my mood always began to worsen the more I thought about Iruka-sensei. He was just confusing.

These thoughts began to wander from my mind as my stomach growled. I stood up deciding to go to the old man Ichiraku for some ramen. I'd rather have anything but that at the moment, people might get suspicious if I don't though.

* * *

He sighed in frustration 

He was getting tired of waiting, if Naruto kept hiding in himself, something bad was gonna happen: either he'll explode in emotions at one point, maybe even go homicidal with Kyuubi-like anger or….. he didn't want to think about the other option, with all the shit Naruto's been through it was the most likely course he'll commit. Suicide.

Still, he didn't know what to do, or how to approach this, he didn't even know what the problem was, although he had a slight suspicion of what it _might_ be but the certainly hoped it wasn't it. If it was… He closed his eye. No, it couldn't be.

But he would have to start pushing the subject soon or else…..

* * *

Iruka was worried. 

That was the understatement of the year.

He was frantic about Naruto, he needed to help the boy but he didn't know how. He wished his surrogate little brother would open up again, he was getting worried. He could see the boy pretending everything was fine but in reality he could also see a boy, who couldn't trust anybody. Wouldn't trust anybody.

And there were times where he just acted so cold, left you speechless, and it was horrifying to see that scaring smile on his lips, his tinted eyes that no longer seemed such an innocent blue. How could he help? How could he approach him? He sighed frustrated. He was gonna go crazy soon if he didn't do _something.

* * *

_

-Nighttime-

* * *

I shivered again, the phantom mouth trailed kisses down my spine, fingers entered me, his other hand held mine tightly above my head, my spot was hit and I made a noise between a yell, a gasp, and a moan. I had never felt like this before, but I still didn't want this. I struggled against the other body and he bit my neck to stop me. 

The red head seemed to be getting frustrated at my restlessness.

Fingers left me and I was glad, though I whimpered slightly at the loss of contact.

I struggled again, more franticly now, trying to get away, when I was filled by something much bigger than the fingers that previously entered. A desperate and painful scream tore from my throat. Pain filled my very being as the other began moving, no longer being gentle, no longer caring. He fucked me raw and hard and oh so painful and my screams couldn't stop.

I think this was when I started sobbing but I wasn't sure, cause everything was wet and hard and painful and I just wanted him to stop and why was this happening to me and I couldn't stop screaming tears slashes and blood that-

I woke up again, screaming.

The pillow was wet and as I opened my blurry eyes all I could stare at was the blood that pooled around it. I turned towards the ceiling finding more blood, it was everywhere and it flowed around me. It was on my arms and down my legs and on the floor and on the bed sheets and I wanted to get away. what was going on?

I was sure I was hyperventilating by now, everywhere I turned: blood was all I saw.

Panic coursed through my sweating body. Blood, it reminded me of his hair, red, I knew he was coming back for me, I whimpered and chocked on my tears again, the walls seemed to be closing in on me. I didn't notice the entrance of another person and when I felt someone touch me I screamed and tore myself away from the pursuer.

I wasn't seeing straight, hell, I wasn't _thinking_ straight, I didn't know who was the one holding me tightly now. I pushed the other person away and scrambled to my feet trying to run but was pinned down again. I kicked my assaulter and continued struggling.

I think I was crying again, I felt my head pounding, hands touching me, blood, red, green, pain. I screamed again, desperately as I curled up and told whatever person was there to go away and leave me alone to not hurt me, not touch me, please go away, go…

* * *

He didn't know what had compelled him to come here or how he ended up on this neighborhood in the first place. 

He had been walking around, bored, not feeling up to training for once, and just began to randomly walk anywhere. He hadn't noticed his surrounding until now. Everything seemed dull. The streets were filled with trash, the buildings decaying; he didn't even know there was such a place in Konoha before. If so, he certainly couldn't remember it.

He continued walking, looking around a bit more, it did seem sort of familiar. Where had he seen this place before, he wondered, but couldn't quite place it.

To his surprise, he actually started recognizing some of his surroundings. Specifically that building.

It was that old apartment building, where… where Naruto lived, he finally remembered.

Great, he thought, why couldn't the blonde leave his mind?

He decided to visit the dobe, maybe then he'll leave his mind.

* * *

It was a bright and beautiful morning. 

I yawned.

_What a horrible nightmare._

That was the first thought that entered my mind as I opened up my eyes, blinking rapidly against the light of the sun.

I looked around the room, there was no blood and everything was clean, it had to be a nightmare, I decided.

The memories seemed fuzzy; I couldn't exactly remember what had happened yesterday.

I got off of the bed, the walrus hat coming off from my head as I stood up and stretched. I proceeded towards the kitchen, deciding, food first, shower later, as I walked in through the door.

What I did not expect, as I walked through aforementioned door, was Sasuke sitting at my table, breakfast ready to be eaten, for me I guessed, while he himself was drinking some tea and staring expectantly at, me?

"What are **_you_** doing here?" I exclaimed, albeit rude I know, but what _was_ he doing here?

He just looked at me weird in response, but then nodded to the breakfast on the table.

Well I'm not one to complain.

I sat down at the table, ignoring my black-haired teammate as I ate up the breakfast he had served me. My mind wandered back to my nightmare, it really was a nightmare, right?

On top speed I finished my food, moving to leave the plate at the sink as I repeated my earlier question again. The feeling of unknown dread began to course through me.

"About last night…. "He started awkwardly. In any other situation, that would have sounded suggestively wrong. In this case, though, the only thing I could do was stare, my brain freezing up. I could feel my eyes widening, mouth hanging open, my body backing away.

_No way, it can't be true… _a small part of my mind voiced in denial.

I didn't hear much of what he said next but I knew he was pressing the matters of why I reacted the way I did last night.

I really hoped that we didn't have a team meeting today; I suddenly wasn't up for any missions.

Sasuke was still bothering me, demanding for information I wasn't willing to hand out.

I knew I was fidgeting.

Why wouldn't he shut up?

I felt myself still backing up and then he called my name and I'm not sure what happened next but we were screaming. I remember throwing some plates and we fought as always did, thought this time for more serious matters.

I think I was hyperventilating again. I just wanted to be alone! why couldn't they freaking understand that!

"Fuck you Uchiha!" A punch here and a dodge there, a crash was heard as the silverware was thrown too.

"You wouldn't understand, you egoistical prissy boy!"

My breathing was harsher, and my movements were frantic. I pushed him away and ran out, not caring anymore; I really hoped to not meet anybody else.

This subject was closed.

* * *

**(1) Well, I thought, Naruto doesn't consider him to be a _sensei_ anymore. He just doesn't respect him as one anymore, bitter reasons as in: why hadn't he been ther when he needed him, what kind of teacher was he anyhow, perverted lazy bastard. Well that trail of thought. Iruka is still considered as sensei though, because of their closer and longer relationship, and even though he wants to cut off ties, he's having a hard time with Iruka.

* * *

**

**erm...long awaited update?**

**-hides-**

**okay, now I _know_ that I've been...erm...busy... but please no murdering the author.**

**At first it was block, then it was lazyiness -hides- then it was a school project, then again i was sort of lazy but i update see?**

**hehehe**

**-hides-**

**Well, hopefully you wont have to wait as long on the next updates...hopefully...**

**ahem...anyways, please don't forgot to review and sorry again for the long wait.**

**I made up for it at least right? it's pretty long.**

* * *

**Press Go and Review.**

**_Rya._**


	6. Chapter 6: Exposed

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Confront?**_

_**What's there to confront?**_

_**Didn't ask for your help**_

_**Why do you keep persisting?**_

_**Didn't want you to help**_

_**Why won't you let me be?**_

_**Tell you?**_

_**Why should I tell you anything!**_

_**I've been fine by myself**_

_**I don't want you here**_

_**Don't get near**_

_**Don't get close**_

_**Why won't you just leave me alone!**_

_**Naruto

* * *

**_

I think I finally lost him.

That was a relief.

I had been running for a while, I'm pretty sure he followed, though; I really wasn't paying attention to his chakra signature, I just ran as hard as I could, and where was I anyway?

I groaned as I finally took in my surroundings. No way. I was at our training ground.

What had possessed my body to guide me here? No matter.

Just as I started walking off, I felt and hand on my shoulder. I gave a hard flinch, turning around and almost getting whiplash in the process.

"Kakashi-sensei!" I don't know what tone my voice said. Nervousness? Desperation? Fear? Frustration?

I didn't want to deal with this, not now. Just when the hell had the man actually been early for a team meeting? I didn't want to be here. Hopefully he would let me go…?

* * *

I had seen Naruto running in this direction. I don't think he meant to come here from the looks of it. He seemed…off, like that day at the hospital. He seemed to be struggling with a lot of emotions; I could see the frustration rolling off of him. I wonder, what happened now? 

I dropped off of the tree I was in and walked towards him. I put a hand on his shoulder and was surprised when he gave a flinch and turned around faster than one could blink. Okay?

"Naruto," after he had recognized me, he did everything he could to avoid my gaze.

I gave off my usual calm persona as I ruffled his hair a bit. He tensed as I did that, odd. "ah, Iruka-san was looking for you," I noted that the tension hadn't been relieved by the mention of his former teacher, in fact, it only appeared to increase.

And then he surprised me again, by showing a relaxed pose with a shit eating grin, eyes squinted very fox like. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei!" he exclaimed in his boisterous self.

"I should go look for him, then, ja!" he turned around and began running to another direction before I grabbed him again. He lashed out this time; damn that kid has some punch, I hadn't expected that.

He looked very tense now, kind of scared too, like a caged animal. His posture quickly changed again, going back to relaxed as he gave me an apologetic grin, one hand behind his head. He avoided looking at me again.

"ah, Naruto-kun, don't forget that today we have an important meeting, don't be late" and with that I poof ed out of his view. _This wasn't good,_ I thought grimly.

* * *

_This wasn't good,_ I thought grimly. Had he figured it out? Damn it! Too many people know! Why, why do I keep slipping up? 

I continued my undirected stride; I didn't really know where to go.

I was getting annoyed, sort of scared too. Who wouldn't, when everyone was onto your utmost secret?

I hoped, I prayed, please, no more encounters, no more people; I just wanted to be **_alone!_**

Just once in my life, when I _want_ to be alone, they **won't** leave me **_be!_**

I turned around the corner and, not to my surprise, really this was very predictable, I encountered bright pink hair.

Sakura.

I wanted to ignore her but she had already spotted me; and approached me, which was odd since most of the time she would rather avoid me.

"Naruto!" she ran over and was standing next to me now. "have you seen Sasuke-kun?" she asked in that sickly sweet voice of hers. Why was I attracted to her anyway? She's so annoying and so _pink. _

:almost red:

I growled. "I don't know where that bastard is." I spat and turned around.

And I didn't _want_ to know where the asshole is, he hopefully fell off a cliff and **_died. _**

I was about to leave when something hit me from behind and shiiit…

I turned around, angry, _that_ **_bitch_**!

I growled, almost feral, while glaring at her. She squeaked surprised before I turned around and stalked off. No use hitting that weakling, and she's probably going to report how the monster was about to attack her.

I walked back to my house, anger was leaving me now. Though, yeah, I was still pissed at the bastard, he better not still be at my house.

* * *

I couldn't find the stupid dobe. He just, disappeared. Of course, I may have gotten an idea of where he had gone if I hadn't stayed put, for like, about a minute, inside of the house, shocked, before I ran after him. 

So I decided to head over the training grounds, we had a meeting after all and the blonde was bound to show up.

When I got there, Sakura was already there, which was odd since she usually arrived a few minutes later, after me.

She fidgeted a lot; she wasn't even looking at me today. I wasn't one to look a horse's gift in the mouth, so, I lay down under a nearby tree and rested, waiting for our sensei to arrive.

* * *

I reluctantly walked back towards the training ground. Special meeting, my ass. Probably another D-class mission, what a bother. I wanted to be back at my apartment, under the covers, everything closed, and mostly, I wanted to be alone. 

Everything was going wrong today. Sasuke finding out, Kakashi finding out, Sakura…seeing me as someone other than the cheerful blonde I usually was, and Iruka…Iruka…

"Naruto!"

Iruka.

God this just wasn't my day.

* * *

**wheeee! new update!**

**and another one coming soon.**

**either, like in a few hours or... in a week cause im leaving and won't be back for the weekend. so yeah..**

**ja ne!**

**Rya.**


	7. Chapter 7: Betrayal

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Maybe I could tell you**_

_**Maybe I could trust you**_

_**Maybe it's time to open up**_

_**There's so many Maybe's in life**_

**_Is it a trick?_**

**_Is it for real?_**

**_Am I really able to trust you?_**

**_AmI really able to tell you?_**

_**The question is**_

_**Am I ready?**_

_**Naruto

* * *

**_

"Naruto!"

I had to look calm now. No more slip ups or anything, Iruka was bound to discover anything and everything from this meeting if I slipped up. The man was simply too alert, thanks to years of teaching at the academy.

I put on a bright smile on my face, no strain shown in it. My aura looked calm, as well as my posture. I turned around to face my approaching teacher with a boisterous yell. "Iruka-sensei!" I greeted.

He finally cached up to me and I internally hoped this meeting would be short.

"Naruto," his eyes faked worry toward me, as always, his posture was tense.

"Ano sa, ano sa, I heard from Kaka-sensei you were looking for me Iruka-sensei!"

My voice sounded too loud for my ears but it seemed to put him at ease.

I looked at him, my eyes filledwith curiosity. I bounced on my heels filled with excitement, or so I made seem. He seemed more relaxed at my displayed behavior. He motioned towards the nearby ramen bar as he began to talk to me. I really didn't pay attention, much; he was just conversing about his school day, and how much Konohamaru was giving him trouble and normal things like that. I could tell he was just warming up some small talk before moving towards his main objective.

I'm pretty sure he just wanted to ask again how I felt, if I wanted to tell him anything, to know that he cares. He's been telling me this at many meetings, wanting me to open up. He's always had an irritating caring personality, always trying to help, never knowing when to mind his own business. I wished he'd leave me alone. He's too nice. He's always there, trying to be my support pillar, to tell him all my worries, my troubles, always trying to be there for me. He was the first person to ever recognize me.

My eyes softened without my notice, a small smile replaced my ever-present grin. Iruka's always been there for me. He's just trying to help a part of my mind whispered.

_Tell him...Tell him..._

"Iruka-sensei" I whispered to him, all my earlier thoughts of how it wasn't real, of how he didn't care, went out of my mind. Denial left me. I wanted to cling to this man, I wanted him to help me, I wanted someone to trust, I wanted my Iruka-sensei.

The reassurance that no one could fake those moments he and I shared together, the feelings, the experiences, it couldn't not be real.

"Naruto" I saw how his eyes soften and worried on me.

This couldn't be fake.

I trembled under his gaze as he continued staring, no longer talking, ramen forgotten. I could tell him, I thought. I could. If anyone cared, it was him.

_Tell him...Tell him... _

Eye contact remain as something from within me continued the mantra.

_Tell him...Tell him..._

and I thought I really could. I should, he would help, this burden that I have hidden inside of me, he could...

I opened my mouth, just a bit, hesitation seeping through

_tell him...tell him..._

I...

My eyes suddenly snapped open. Kyuubi!

I groaned aloud, everything was making sense now. I held my head in between my hands, as if to show my head hurting.

I told Iruka-sensei there was nothing to worry, about just a small headache, as I swiftly retreated.

As I turned around the corner and disappeared from Iruka's sight, I let go of my head and got as far away as I could.

**_Kyuubi! _**I shouted for him again.

I was seething, bewildered as I figured out what was going on.

_Brat,_ he responded to me, in a lazy drawl.

**_You... you...! _**I couldn't believe it! all those slips ups! all those times..!

**_Why!_** I demanded, confusion overwhelming me.

_Tell the human_

**_No!_**

I couldn't believe him!

that stupid furball

**_just what are you trying to do!_**

the last thing that I had depended on

betrayed me!

the last thing that held up my composure

was trying to make me open up to them!

they've always hated me, yet

why is he trying to make them hate me more?

confusion

betrayal

**Kyuubi...you...**

**

* * *

**

Yup, Im back, my trip was great and everything

Sorry for the shortness of this.

I'll try to bring the next update as soon as I can, I pretty much know what i want to happen. I could've updated a bit sooner but my computer had a virus,but my dad fixed it, took a while, rambling.

**_Rya._**


	8. Chapter 8: Reappearance

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Just when I thought it couldn't get worse**_

_**It did.**_

_**Just when I thought I could finally let go**_

_**I didn't**_

_**Just when I thought I could let you near me**_

_**You walked away from me.**_

_**Just when I wanted you to hold me**_

_**You let me go.**_

_**I thought you wouldn't betray me.**_

_**You did.**_

_**But why do I keep looking back?**_

_**Naruto.

* * *

**_

I hadn't talked to him since then. We were promoted- we were given the choice to take the chunnin exam and of course, accepted. It's been a day since then.

Since then. I couldn't have ever thought that he would do that. I always had some sort of resentment towards him; it _was_ his fault, after all, that I was hated. But, I had always held him somewhat, close, to me. I've…talked to him, when I was a child. I had had no idea what it was back then, but, but- it had always been comforting, knowing he would be there for me.

I was obviously wrong.

I shouldn't have let him get close. It betrayed me. Just like everyone else, so full of _lies_.

I completely isolated myself from his presence since then. He's tried to communicate or something, but our link was disconnected. I made sure. He's fuming, I bet. I gave a dry smirk. He deserved it, that stupid fox.

I walked around the village in my musings, my dark long sleeved shirt keeping me from the unexpected frosty breeze.

I had changed my outfit in symbol of –well, Kyuubi had been the last straw. I wore dark blue now, it almost seemed black. It suited me, I think. The dark colors not only represented my saturnine mood but brought out my brightness. Instead of making me look sullen, like how I really felt, it made me seem brighter in the other's eyes. It made my yellow mop of a head shine brighter and bring out my eyes, or so I've been told once or twice. Thank god for small miracles, huh? It did put the other's **_concerns, _**I thought disdainly, at _ease._ I scoffed at that thought.

I turned a corner. There was a rock following me. A _square _rock.

_Konohamaru…_The name was sounded out menacing, both in thought and out loud.

Three kids, previously hidden beneath the square rock (a _square rock?)_, 'eeeped' before abandoning the disguise, complimenting and praising their boss for being so– and then Sakura came. The annoying girl had showed up and everything became chaotic. They fought, then the kids even referred that _thing _as my girlfriend. I inwardly shuddered. Then shuddered some more as I finally noticed – was she _checking me out?_ I growled _and _looked put out at that. Just caused I changed my outfit and the bastard wasn't here huh?

And then these two weirdoes showed up. A bossy blonde fan girl and a dolly playing boy. Woop-the-freakin-_doo. _Now could they just _leave _and maybe, hopefully, ya know, drop off of the world and _die? _Cause have I mentioned, this was getting me pissed off!

They weren't even from here; they were _Suna_ nin.

Why the hell were they here for anyway–

My thoughts flashed. _For the chunnin exams? _

_**Suna nin? **_

**_Familiar face structure. _**

Blonde-no **red**.

_Smirk_.

**Eyes**.

**_Screams. _**

**Unwanted. **

The name.

_Gaara.

* * *

_

Gaara's finally come, what will happen now? mwahahahaha.

**Rya.**


	9. Chapter 9: Run

**Are you that willing to break me?**

**_I never had thought it safe._**

**_I knew You would be back._**

_**Always kept hoping**_

_**Always kept wishing**_

**_Always had wanted You to just stay away_**

**_Hadn't I had enough?_**

**_Hadn't You?_**

**_Did You really have to come back?_**

**_Couldn't You have just_**

**_Stay.Away._**

**_And why aren't you here?_**

**_Why aren't you saving me?_**

_**Save me**_

_**Save me**_

**_From Him_**

_**Why have You come?**_

**_Why have you left me?_**

_**Naruto.

* * *

**_

Gaara.

Sabaku Gaara.

Gaara

Gaara

Gaara

The name haunts me as soon as I hear it, cause now I could just _remember._

Remember the breathing, the anxiety, the _hurt, _and gods the _pain_–

The eyes.

The piercing greenery.

The Hair

Flaming– hot– _blood_.

The stare

The overwhelming pitch black mixed with aqua-green **stare**

It's you, my mind faintly complied.

Body shaking

You...you…you!

You're here?

Wha..

Why-

Gaa

No

No!

My eyes had widened as everything finally took him in and _connected_

He was wearing a sadistically–_insanely_ happy grin on his face, planted right on his face as he _stared. _As he recognized me. As he lecherously _gazed _at me. I knew I was shaking like a leaf (ha, this is truly a konoha nin?) I hadn't even noticed Sasuke's arrival or the way Sakura was looking at me, not even the way Konohamaru and the rest stilled at the stiffling atmosphere– as everyone stared at the unyielding tension surrounding us.

"Gaara-" I finally uttered. My voice was cracked. I gasped, I think. I tried to swallow, tried to stop shaking, tried to stop- **_stop, stop, stop!_**

**_I wanted to stop! I wanted to run! I want- I wanted- let me go! I wanna get out of here_**

_**You're nothing **_

_**worthless **_

_**unwanted**_

_**let me go!**_

_Let me** run**._

Why was I just _standing _there. Why couldn't I _move? _My legs felt wobbly. My head was dizzy. Where am I?

The floor felt hard, fingers probed.

Let me- let me-!

"Naruto?" Sakura's nervous voice, was it Sakura? I could barely hear it anyway-where **am** I?

So worthless, _**helpless-**_ nobody wants you

Body shaking "–oi usuratonkachi, snap out of it," worry in his tone? was it worry? I don't know anymore!

Trapped, trapped here, there, memories, reality

-ere am I?

I don't know, I don't know.

Felt darkness enclosing, gasps, breathing erratic, clawing my way through, his gaze, unwavering maliciously, claws, clasps, shove away

"-boss?"

Please stop

Hold tight pain

Let me go!

I ran! I ran from the hell at my tail

I ran.

Was someone following?

Steps

closer

breathing

closer

Gaara?

**Monster** something in me whispered

Who's -?

Don't know, I kept running directionless, faceless villagers everywhere, just blank expressionless faces. Everything was blurry. shadows, where am I? Couldn't get through the crowd -someone was behind me

You're getting closer

Breath

Breathes closer

Feel it in you skin

Where…-

Closer

getting closer-just _right under your skin_

**_can you feel it?_**

The panic _the damn freaking exasperation-_

Where am I!

Let me go

Let me **_run _**

Catches

Wrist

No, **_no_**!

_

* * *

_

i love myself

when will be my next update? that depends on YOU the reviewers.

**Rya**.


	10. Chapter 10: Forgetting

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**I wanted to punch your face when I saw you **_

_**I still want to convince you that I am okay **_

_**I wish you would understand what how I feel **_

_**I wish you would understand I need space **_

_**I know that I'm needing you here **_

_**I know I'm denying myself **_

_**You wanted to make sure I'm not hurting **_

_**You didn't know you were too late **_

_**I know that you're trying **_

_**You keep saying "you care" **_

_**You don't know how that hurts me **_

_**You don't know why I want to keep you away. **_

_**Naruto **_

_**

* * *

**_

I didn't know what to do anymore. A stray whimper slipped past my throat as I felt _that _hand restraining my movements.

"Naruto"

I heard the words, not the voice. Inside I was full of panic.

"Gaara" a panicked whisper that came out as a strangled gasp.

Now that I knew the name, the name of that- that…

I tried struggling again, sluggishly; the grip wavered.

I wanted to take the chance to run at that moment but my body froze- I just couldn't move!

"Naruto" there it was, that voice again. Let- me- go! I threw a punch, finally regaining some sort of sagacity- finally being able to _move_ and darted away again, only to find myself in a face full of shirt.

"Dammit Naruto, stop struggling - usuratonkachi, stop!"

My eyes snapped open and I froze again.

"Sasuke-!"

My hands clenched around him for support before my body drooped in exhaustion, my previous adrenaline running off from my veins.

"Sasuke" After a few moments of silence and staring and panic, I finally managed to murmur his name in an agonized whisper. I clung to the dark-head's body burying my head into him.

"Sasuke..!" I trembled. I fisted my hands well into his shirt, bringing myself closer to him for some kind of comfort; I felt as though my body was trying to become one with his.

At this moment I forgot he was my rival, I forgot this was the cold Uchiha prodigy; I forgot he _wasn't_ _supposed to **care**. _I didn't question why he was here, or why he bothered to pick me off the ground and take me back to my apartment. I was grateful he hasn't questioned anything, didn't bother to acknowledge the fact that he might try to do so later.

He set me at the couch, I really didn't want to let go but some of my wits were coming back to me and I let him go. I thought he would leave me now; that he had only taken me out of the villager's view as some rare act of kindness. I was surprised when he came back, some drink I didn't recognize in his hands, looking a little put off, didn't seem to know what he was doing.

I tried to think of it as being teamwork then but something in the back of my mind prodded and asked _'then why wasn't the rest of team there'_ I didn't want to question it, I didn't want to see what was there. He _cared. _He hasn't abandoned me. He's putting up with me. But **_why? _**Weren't they rivals nothing more, nothing else? Why. are. you. here?

I didn't know I had voiced my question until he surprised me with his quiet answer.

"Why not?"

My shaken gaze snapped up to meet his unwavering one.

He took a step forward. I wish I could've taken one back. He pushed the drink into my hands and sat down next to me. An awkward silence followed, neither of us knew what to do next.

Everything felt strangely calm to me. I had forgotten my fright due to the shock of having Sasuke helping me. I could think more clearly now. Gaara. The name send shivers up my spine and I wish I could curl up somewhere and just hide. Comfort was overrated, as was love. Such a thing would never exist on my terms. No one would love a monster. No one would care.

Yet Sasuke was here. It wasn't Iruka-sensei, who always proclaimed to be there for me. Nor was it that useless unreliable jounin teacher of mine, or the old man Hokage. It wasn't even Sakura, but _**Sasuke. **_The thought felt right yet…

"Why?"

"What's going on?"

We blurted our questions simultaneously and stared at the other.

I didn't want to answer. I didn't want him to know. I wouldn't tell him. I wanted to get it off my chest.

"gaara…." I shook as I choked the word out. My previous violent reaction surfaced as I pushed the raven haired nin away from myself.

I forgot I wasn't supposed to show weakness, I wasn't supposed to act like this; I was supposed to be bright, cheery, and _composed. _I was supposed to be confident and loud. I was a _shinobi. _I shouldn't show weaknesses like this, I shouldn't break down just at the sight of-

I also forgot he had seen this before.

And that stilled me. And shocked me. And I stared despairingly at the other before running again but he caught my wrist this time. He hasn't going to let me run away again.

Suddenly, the abrupt collision of memories of _everything _hit me and brought me to slap the hand away, chakra violently trashing and something _**broke **_but I wasn't sure what.

At least when the yelling started again I was on familiar ground again and I felt _safer. _

"You moron, what was that for!" was the yell of indignation I got. My previous hit had damaged his pride at being caught off-guard.

"Fuck off, Sasuke!"

"Usuratonkachi, what's wrong with you! Ever since you disappeared that night you've been acting weird!"

"I'm perfectly fine!" a blatant lie that even he could see through.

"Stop trying to lie! Your moves have become more reckless and sluggish at training. I can see perfectly through your smiles. Stop it with this cheerful crap and talk to someone if it's killing you that much!"

"Shut up! Shut up and leave me the hell alone! It's none of your business! What the hell are you doing pretending to care! It's not as if anyone really does!"

His fist collided with my jaw in a hard impact that he sent me to the ground.

"What the hell do you think I'm here for? You think that if I didn't care I would be here? You think I don't care at all about what's going on with you? That you're just a pitiful case I could barge on and mock? You're my rival idiot! Of course I care! You're the only person I care about moron! You're my best friend!"

The last part that had unintentionally slipped past his lips made him go into silence. Shock enveloped the tense atmosphere as I was filled with bewilderment.

I hesitated on my next words.

"You don't…you don't mean that…you…don't know the truth… no one can like me as I am." I paused on my words. _Best friend? _The thought baffled me.

"I'm like gaara you see. I'm fucked up as he is. The bastard was right. No one cares, a person like me, we don't deserve it." I tried to ignore his ever-changing expressions and flinched slightly at the animosity he showed. I couldn't think straight anymore. He wasn't supposed to care. He had to be lying!

"You…you can't like someone like me! You don't even know me! Did you really just think that I was a happy and cheerful moron? Did you ever think of me as more than a nobody with no lineage? The class clown at the academy? Someone for you to spar with and to be used to your advantage?

"Couldn't you see the hate? The stares they all give me when we walk by? Do you even know why? It's not that I'm a freaking troublemaker. It's because I'm a monster. I'm the kyuubi! They sealed it to me when I was born!"

There. I had left my secret out and now he would leave.

"Teme," I choked out as I punched the wall. I had regained my footing somewhere along my rant.

"Don't you dare say you care." I hissed out, tears gathering at the bottom of my eyes,

I felt him get closer but couldn't read his movements. This time I took a step back.

My body shook as all my resentment and anger and something that was not quite hate flowed out of me with each tremor.

"He was right. I'm nothing." I'm not sure if I said it aloud, in fact, I wasn't sure about anything.

I looked up to find a pissed Uchiha staring at me.

I wasn't sure if I cared.

* * *

It took me a bit long, eh, I was reading. I wanted to continue doing this some more but I decide the next part would be better if I told it in Sasuke's pov I need to work on it a bit more. Also, I have this contest that I entered so I may be a little (not that much I swear) late with the next update since im writng another fic(though reviews encourage me to work faster. much faster. i was so glad to get 23 reviews last time ) so, reviews are a definite yes, depending on the number i may update a lot sooner than you think. 

**_Rya._**


	11. Chapter 11: Strange

**Are you that willing to break me?**

**_It was strange _**

**_to see someone different today_**

**_from that someone that was yesterday_**

**_it was strange_**

**_to hear his cries instead of his outbursts_**

**_for him to be the silence rather than to break it_**

**_it was strange_**

**_how one event could really change you forever_**

**_why was it strange _**

**_I wondered_**

**_since I was proof of that too._**

**_Sasuke._**

**_

* * *

_**I looked down him, my pissed expression became a painful grimace as I stared at his dull sapphire colored eyes; as I stared at those soulless grey-blue eyes. There was no shine in them anymore it hadn't been present for a long while. 

"He was right." I heard his murmured words.

I wanted to yell at him, tell him to get over it, tell him to _get a grip. _I wanted to, I wanted to but I didn't. I couldn't. Instead…

"Naruto." A slight, hesitant pause.

"Naruto, what did that bastard do to you?" I poured out in a little less than a whisper.

I flinched slightly at the bitter laugh that escaped the chapped lips.

"He raped me, Sasuke." He said so and grinned.

I didn't process the word until later and then I was overcome with this **_feeling._**

"Naruto"

I didn't know what I did, or how I had triggered it.

I was pushed back as another burst of chakra came from the trembling blonde.

We stared at the other, as the red chakra exploded, as the window shattered, as a tear escaped those sapphire colored eyes that turned a tinted vermilion.

Everything about Naruto screamed ferocity, an untamed wildness; his body slumped before something more feral took place and I immediately knew this was not my blond haired teammate.

"You-" My voice was silenced as red slitted eyes gazed at me.

"Uchiha Sasuke," the deep sultry rumble of his voice bounced off the decayed walls.

"…."

"Take care…of the brat." Ruby eyes closed in a sigh before they pinned me with a heated stare.

"That day, that mission, when he went missing…."

_Let me go-! Don't touch me! What the hell do you think you're doing! Stop! _

"In that mission, he met Gaara."

_Hands holding him down. "Why do you reject me so?"_

"You wouldn't have been able to find him then. There was a barrier, he's from Suna, he's _special, _and he used a sand barrier that you wouldn't have been able to go through.

"They confronted the other, it was messy, it was- the guy was messed up." A fanged grin that riled my anger up. Why is he-?

"He's a little off his rocker, that kid." He frowned. "But I didn't think, back then, that it would turn out like this."

_A straggled scream_

"The bastard broke him" he spat, and I felt a rise in the chakra, the killer intent in the room raised a couple notches. "He broke him bad." He declared.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do, what I was supposed to say. I was talking to a demon. I was talking about my teammate being raped.

"At that time, there was a seal, I couldn't come out, I couldn't interfere. I couldn't even heal him." He growled.

_So very pretty, now that the nine-tails isn't here to heal you…_

"He told him stuff, he won't trust anyone again, he won't believe again, I really hadn't though it would turn out this way."

"Why are you telling me this? What am I supposed to do?" I questioned.

What was I supposed to do? I wasn't used to this, I wasn't used to anything like this; helping others, taking concern, I called him my best friend, did I mean that?

The other growled in response. "Didn't you say he was your best friend? Were you caught up in the moment?" He questioned sardonically.

"Cause if you were, then you surely are a stupid human! Saying something like that to him! Do you know what you did? Did you even think about how he would feel? Hate was a constant to him, he recently became a concern in other people's views and yet you and him, and after all that had happened, did you think it was wise to say something like that if you didn't mean it?"

My eyes widened. I couldn't respond to that. I didn't know what to say, how to feel, this was way too confusing to me, why was I even feeling like this, I shouldn't feel this way!

I stared straight into those crimson eyes and got a (approving? comprehending? knowing?) snort in return before the other continued his tale.

"He planted some sick thoughts on him, in him too, and that's not the only thing he did. After all that, he couldn't bring himself to trust anyone anymore and panicked when you said you cared about him, I'd call you an idiot but you didn't know how that would affect him, and in the end, maybe it was for the best.

"Turns out, the guy was a demon vessel, the weakest of us all but, we were caught off guard. Coincidentally, he was Shukaku's vessel, a rival of mine; we never did get along." He said offhandedly.

_This guy…!_ I thought angered, a low growl escaping my throat.

"You seem to care after all, Uchiha."

I glared heatedly, this guy was impossible.

"So what happened?" I snapped.

The frown was back. "I don't know what seal he used but it left our connection unstable. I couldn't even communicate but I sure as hell could listen at what was going on. You saw Naruto's scars on the way back to the village, right? The nails marks that were dug into his skin and the cracked head, traces of blood."

_They ran towards the figure of the blonde. Sensei picked him up as we all stared concerned at him, me as well._

"And all that shit he told him. No trust. No one likes him. No one would care. No one can love him. a bastard child with a monster. No parents. Abandoned. Alone."

_"Kakashi-sensei, will he be alright?" asked the pink-haired kunoichi. _

"You know, he had at first offered him the chance to join him and slaughter the villagers but he's got a pretty strong will. Or he had. He never agreed to that. He put up with all that shit that happened and pretended nothing was wrong and continued living."

It was strange hearing all of this coming out of the mouth of the blonde, knowing it wasn't really him doing the talking. It was strange to see the blue eyes turned red staring at him.

"But eventually it got harder and everyday he ached a little more and soon enough he was gonna break so I helped a bit. The jutsu has some side effects, or some fault or something and I could take a bit of control. Every split second that you saw him slip up, that was me. I was hoping someone would notice. That Iruka guy almost noticed but as soon as the vessel found out he convinced him otherwise."

I remembered how he would slip up and wouldn't notice, how he began doing out of character things, how slowly he became a different person, like he was somebody else.

"But it was only those momentary moments, and everything finally came to a crash when the bastard showed up and everything came out. I still wonder where your teachers are, they should have showed up, they should have known by now. Yet you're the one here, with the brat, instead of those teachers of his."

But then again, it really did seem like him, just a little more different, a little more true. I noticed what was right and what was not, what was him and what was fake. I saw underneath what was there. And maybe that's why I'm the only one who noticed, the only one that wasn't really looking but found. I got worried and recognized something that was _familiar, _and maybe that's why nobody else noticed as well.

It's not the same situation, I know, but it was still familiar, it was still connected, it was still us. So maybe that's why when the red chakra vanished and his last whispered words lingered in the air, when blue eyes peered at me and I felt something familiar yet strange, maybe that's why I was tangled in an awkward embrace, that just felt _right_.

_"Take care of him well, Uchiha."

* * *

_

I don't know why i did sasuke's poem instead of naruto when even when i used other's pov's its always naruto. but there it is, i always do them after the chapter and that's what came out.

on another note,

gomen ne, I took really long, gomen. I didn't mean to take this long, but I hope this was worth the wait. I was listening to Hoshi no Suna by Gackt while doing this, it really inspired me, but i dont think i did as well as i could, gomen.

I know I should have written this sooner but I got really into tsubasa chronicles and xxxholic. Gomennasai, minna-san.

Please review.

**Rya.**


	12. Chapter 12: Ramen

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**I wanted to resist**_

_**I wanted it to stop**_

_**I wished everything was done and over with**_

_**He was so frustrating!**_

_**He was so nerve wracking!**_

_**I really wanted to pound him into the ground!**_

_**But this felt right**_

_**This felt safe**_

_**This was different**_

_**Maybe, this time**_

_**I would give it a chance**_

_**Naruto

* * *

**_

I wanted to resist. It had been a haze to drift through and when my incoherent thoughts finally came to surface, I opened my eyes and was confused to the sight that I saw.

_When had he become so close?_ I wondered faintly as I stared at the opposite wall. Ebony black mixed with sunshine as I was pulled into an awkward embrace. His arms wrapped around my body, not too tightly or too loose. It was different to the harsh touches I had experienced that day, my breathing picked up remembering. Everything was different. The scent of **Sasuke** strongly replaced any from the blood, sweat and tears. There was nothing menacing, nothing demonic about this. I hesitantly put my hands on his forearms, slowly pushing him to a safe distance. He gazed at me with a somber expression on his face.

Why was he **looking** at me like that! He wasn't supposed to.

He was being an asshole, as always. He always makes me question myself, always makes me think, always teases me and argues with me, and cuffs me in the head when he thinks I'm too rambunctious, scowls before letting himself be dragged to Ichiraku's with me and offers to pay me later when I realize I was broke. He might, I gulped, have said the truth when he said, he, sort of, cared, maybe?

I decided I wanted to growl and yell at him again for making me so confused.

What was this feeling? This foreign fluttering that ran deep through my veins. The burning, pulsing need that exploded as the seconds drifted by. I saw the panic, I saw the fear, the bewilderment my body was putting me through. I didn't understand at all, the muddled thoughts that still weren't clear to me. I just felt, the empty remembrance. My aching heart thundering against my broken body. I didn't know why I felt that way either.

When had my life turned so much I couldn't understand what was up and what was down?

"Sasuke" I whispered hoarsely. My throat hurt as I spoke. When had my voice gone so hoarse?

He looked at me, a bit worriedly, a bit determined. Determined for what I wondered, but pushed it off my mind. I shook my head before starting again.

"Sasuke" I felt the slight flush of my body, and furrowed my brow in confusion. I felt like a fool for breaking down in front of my rival, for telling him about the kyuubi, about the…

He, probably hates me now, I thought downcast.

"I don't hate you." I looked up surprised. Had I said that out loud too?

He gave me a slight looped smile (smirk?) before he focused his hesitant gaze on me again. I saw him pull a lock of his hair, a habit I had never noticed. He looked at me as if he was contemplating whether or not to say what was on his mind.

"Naruto I…" He paused and I unknowingly winced before taking a step back. He glanced at me, confused at my actions; I was confused as well.

He continued.

"You really are my most precious person." I saw him blush in embarrassment; that had sounded really corny. He avoided looking at my eyes.

I blushed too, before my initial reaction of panic resurfaced. I was about to bolt again when he caught my arm. It wasn't a tight hold like the last time, which had made me react violently. It was soft, hesitant, as if he didn't know if he should done that; it didn't hold the tight grip that was used to hold in a struggle. And for some reason, instead of shrugging it off, I stayed planted to the ground. There was silence. He didn't continue to talk and I had nothing to say. We stayed standing for a while before giving a slight jump as the AC kicked in. We laughed slightly for doing so.

With the awkward atmosphere broken I decided I was hungry and wandered over to the kitchen to make some ramen. We didn't talk for a while, just communicated with gestures as he followed me to the kitchen. I looked for some chopsticks, the kettle whistled. I peeked a glance at him and he stared back at me impassively. Finally I decided to talk.

"You're such a bastard, you know?"

He hadn't expected that and scowled in surprise. I laughed brightly at the image he made. He smiled back, a small content smile at my laughter. I soon quieted after that.

I didn't understand him!

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Uchiha Sasuke?" I questioned half-jokingly. The solemnity of my question was not missed, and made him frown before he looked away.

"Listen, usuratonkachi—"

The insistent whistle of the kettle cut him off. I turned off the stove and poured the hot water over the ramen.

"I told you not to call me that, teme." I murmured to him. The serious conversation couldn't be avoided, I supposed.

Silence reined over us again, if only for a few seconds.

"I don't hate you." He declared again. I said nothing in response to this.

"You're being an idiot," at that I did react and glared heatedly at my raven-haired rival.

He cut me off before I could even begin to rant on it.

"I don't care about the Kyuubi." He said and continued. "and…and Gaara—" he faltered and I tensed. The killer intent rose high in the air. "and Gaara" he growled "you shouldn't- you should have told us!" he hissed slamming his fist onto the table. My body gave a slight tremor and I avoided looking his way, settling to glare at the still uncooked ramen in his place.

"Should have I?" I barked out bitterly.

He curved his view to me in a fast turn of his neck. I continued to ignore him and began to eat my ramen.

"It's been a month! All this time-! You idiot! You should've **_told_** somebody!

"And what would you have done?" I yelled. I threw my chopsticks down the table, leaving the unfinished ramen as I stood up. "What would you have done bastard! What was I supposed to say?" I slammed my hands on the table hard and leaned over to him, close enough to feel his breath in my skin. I flinched. "Tell me, you asshole"

He pushed me back and began pacing.

"So you were gonna keep quiet for God knows how long? And then what? Ignoring the issue obviously didn't do you any good." The cutting sarcasm was not missed.

"Since when did you become a shrink Uchiha? As far as I knew, you were the one in need of one before!"

"Moron!" he yelled. "Idiot!" he threw his hands up in the air in obvious show of exasperation, and gritted his teeth, his scowl never leaving the pale face.

"What is this? You gonna insult me then leave again? Cause I think I'm getting tired of this argument."

He gave a whirl before fisting my shirt, bringing me closer.

"What do you _want _me to say? You're not really leaving me any choices!" He pushed me back again and I stumbled.

An angry scream escaped me as I lunged at him. My fist collided with his face and we landed to the ground with a loud thud.

I breathed harshly, my frustration settling in, what _did_ I want, I wondered as I glanced down at my rival. I stared at the forming bruise that began to mar his pale complexion. I let my thumb run over the damage it had made, taking faint note when the other winced, and let out a little grunt of pain.

I whispered a broken apology as I got off his stomach. I held out a hand. He took it and stood back up.

"Maybe I should've told someone" the echo of dual voices reverberated. I felt something inside of me scolding me.

"Maybe I should've" I repeated, confused with the strange echo. "But what good would that have done?" as I looked back at him, meeting the dark obsidian eyes, I felt no pity, just regret.

My stomach bowled over in regret too.

Silence overtook again. It was a while before either of us spoke again.

I closed my eyes, exhaustion finally seeping in.

"Sasuke…" I whispered mutely.

It was the last thing I did before I keeled over and passed out.

* * *

_and i would stop right there but..._ _

* * *

_

_"Naruto!" soft childish laugher echoed in glee as a pair of hands caught the writhing body._

_The little boy blinked innocently at the old man as he was stared at with mock disappointment. _

_"What did I tell you about pranking the teachers?" he scolded, but the grin on his face wasn't missed on the blonde boy._

_"but! But! He deserved it!" he pouted, his puppy-eyes pleading innocence to the Third Hokage._

_----_

_**They hadn't cared before, this was new, this was raw, this was foreign. I wasn't used to it, not much.** _

_---_

_The old man, he looked after me, he was protective of me. I remembered. He would tuck me in bed and treat me to ramen, play with me sometimes. He really cared. I hadn't remembered how much. He was a really important person to me._

_---_

_"Oi, Naruto!" He looked behind him to find his sensei waving at him in greeting._

_"Iruka-sensei!" he shouted in delight as he bounded over to him._

_They met half-way both grinning, one panting. "Let's go get some ramen later today, okay?" Iruka asked, a fond smile crossing over his face as he watched his favorite blonde. _

_"Sure!" the tired shinobi responded. Training was about to be over and they hadn't eaten together in a while._

_----_

**_There were other people that began to care and I couldn't believe that they did. I'm still not sure._**

_---_

_And at graduation, Iruka saw me in a new light, our bond grew, he became more than just a mentor; he became a father figure. He liked me I guessed, I tried to ignore that too, when he tried to make me open up once again._

_---_

_"Oi, usuratonkachi!"_

_He looked behind him to find his raven-haired teammate scowling in impatience._

_"Are we going to train or what?" With that, his rival turned on his heel and headed over the training grounds. He jumped up from his spot on the grass and ran after him, a happy bounce on his every step._

_Stumbling down, he landed on top of his rival with a loud 'whoomp' that knocked the wind out of both of them. _

_"Watch where you're going!" was the bewildered shout of the sharigan-wielder. _

_He stayed down, gasping as he tried to regain his breath. _

_---- _

**_But to have Sasuke here. I can't comprehend that the most. Can't comprehend it, can't shake that feeling, mainly because my heart beats faster and breath become ragged. My body shakes and I know it's not the fear and panic that I suffer as I suffered with Gaara. _**

_---_

_"Idiot, get off" was the breathless groan of his rival as he shuffled underneath the blonde's weight._

_When the situation finally projected on both minds, one squeaked and both blushed wildly. _

_He quickly jumped off, only to fall back from behind in a jumble of movements._

_The small chuckle that he was gifted with afterwards was worth it._

_That is, after the loud exclamations he had given about laughing at him._

_----_

**_This is different, this is raw. It's not as instinctive, it's something I've never explored or can understand. I feel safe. I feel complete. I feel full, and I don't want to let go. I wasn't sure of what to do. _**

**---**

_"Na...ruto" _

_The gasping reply of his rival left him unable of any speech, he leaned in closer, the breath against his skin had never felt so comfortable. _

_Lips met with a clash, all the bad went away as he inhaled all that was_ **_Sasuke. _**

_Forehead met forehead in a sweaty encounter. The breathy laughed that escaped his stoic rival made him feel as if he had just been made Hokage. _

_---- _

**_I didn't know if this was a dream or a memory, but I really didn't care. This felt right, this felt safe, this felt just like I wanted to feel like. This was what I really wanted to be._**

**---**

_I didn't understand what had happened or what was happening. I just clung to him because it felt right. I wasn't sure if it really was in the end, I just felt safe, I felt different, I felt released. I didn't understand my need to breathe in his scent or the flush of my cheeks or how he did the same thing and clung and let and stayed and cared. _

_Our tangled limbs held a relaxed tension as we slowly separated. When before it was the familiarity of our fights, of our arguments and anger, now this felt okay. I think I could deal, for a while, I think that I really should let him, he knew this much, he's stayed, he could betray me. What should I do?_

_

* * *

_

So I decided to add the little dream scene because it makes my life so much easier. Now to deal with Sasuke's feelings and…the sasunaru starts!

I named the chapter ramen _because _of it's reoccuring apperance and because I just couldn't decide what to name it. and because I thought it hilarious to name it so. x3

Don't forget to review! They make me very happy! X3

**_Rya._**


	13. Chapter 13: Sasuke

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**It had been different**_

_**So, so different**_

_**So unbelievable**_

_**So indescribable**_

_**Something was different about him **_

_**Something was different about me**_

_**This is our wonder**_

_**Our bafflement**_

_**Of how slowly we fell in love.**_

**Naruto.

* * *

**

"Sasuke…" The world seemed to go round again as it paced in slow motion. My eyes widened as I watched his body fall towards the ground. Down, and in an instant I was there at his side, catching him just before he hit the floor, pulling him closer to me –-a reassurance that he was going to be alright.

Contact became a necessity and I wasn't sure of why. I couldn't let go of him, wasn't aware of the trembling made both by me and the body in my arms. I wandered down the corridor, dimly aware of where I was going. I found myself entering what I thought was his bedroom and paid no attention to my surroundings, only directing my thoughts to bed, sleep, and put down.

After accomplishing my task I stood there not knowing what was next. Everything was happening so quickly and I had no idea what to think --what to do in this situation

I found myself staring down at his frail body. Backtracking, I wondered why I would call him so having known that the blonde was anything but. He had always been a wall of fortitude. Always so loud, so damn cheerful, so idiotic; always trying his best as much as the moron could do.

Examining him again, I couldn't help but to admit that my previous thought was indeed correct – hair that once shinned as brightly as the sun now looked dead, like a wilted sunflower. His tanned complexion had turned an ashen that put my own to shame on a really hot day. His breathing was evened out, and unlike the previous time, it showed no sign of struggle or nightmare, no sign of panic and of the tenseness I had seen on him before.

I guessed the last part made me feel better, reassured me that he was going to be fine, even if just for now. I wandered back to the kitchen and sat on the stool, elbows on the counter as my hands reached up to my face, hair, and worked through the knots, the tenseness and fatigue that coursed through my body.

I sighed. I felt the world stop between my fingertips and time halted. Where was I supposed to direct my thoughts to next? Life used to be so simple when my only problem was training to become strong enough to kill Itachi.

_"Naruto must have it so easy, having no parents to boss him around, it must be great."_

I think that was the first time I disliked Sakura as a person rather than just another fangirl. After she had opened her mouth, the words that she had uttered engraved themselves into my mind.

I wondered how he would've reacted to that, it would've been a slap in the face for sure; it was to me. I don't think his infatuation would've lasted any longer had he heard her say it to him.

_My heart clenched. I gritted my teeth before intense fury flooded coldly through my veins. She was so annoying, I told her so and felt no regret, no remorse that I had done it or if I had hurt her. She was such a **child.**_

My patience had snapped. She had crossed an invisible line she didn't even know that was there.

_"The pain of having no parents is something you wouldn't understand. You've had a sheltered life. Sakura, you're annoying._

I wasn't really sure if I was really speaking for myself, or if I was actually speaking after that idiot.

I had taken it so personal yet felt possessive when she insulted him. I wondered why it felt fine when it was only me who made fun of him.

I didn't understand that.

_"I didn't want to die, until I killed my brother." My voice felt hoarse, and at that moment I couldn't fathom why. _

_I felt rather than saw, the grief that was clearly visible on shaken sapphire eyes; it wasn't too long before denial and bewildered anger took its place. I knew he was questioning **'why I had done such a stupid thing!'** I couldn't understand why I had done it either._

_My hand raised in its on accord. In the back of my mind, I laughed cynically wondering why everything that my body wanted and my mind denied revolved around Naruto. _

_I felt my heart striking loudly against my chest. I couldn't hear my voice anymore, only the loud thuds of my beating heart and the rasping breaths that racked out of my body. Our gazes finally broke, at that moment an unfathomable feeling rose before it died along with me. "you, don't die."_

I snapped my head up and out of the unexpected assault of memories. I had nearly lost my life that day; sacrificed my life for him, my goal for him. That moment had strained rather than mended our strange relationship. I avoided him for a long time after that.

Then that mission came. I fisted my hair and felt no pain –just blind fury now that I knew _everything. _Hate overfilled me in a way that only Itachi used to.

Weeks of my previous frustration and confusion boiled together with the panicked worry I had felt when Naruto had disappeared. Anger then filled any void that had remained empty before and my emotions were bursting out everywhere. It was undignified of me, having had control over myself long after the massacre and long before I had gotten close to anyone ever again.

How had he wriggled his place into my (dead) heart in the first place?

I huffed out angrily again before standing up. I paced back and forth, in and out of the room, into the bedroom (I had to check on him) and back to the kitchen. I ended up in the couch facedown. I felt like muffling my breathing and the little angry grunts that escaped me now and then.

I didn't **want** to feel emotions other than hate for my _–that person- _but at this moment there wasn't any one else I hated more than Gaara of the Sand.

I punched the floor, hard. My fist might've started to bleed with the force I used, I wasn't sure.

I called him my best friend. I've been _such an **ass. **_I _knew _there had been something wrong with him. I _knew. _I ignored it, ignored him, ignored my own feelings –-something could've happened –--something could have happened and why am I always so late –-so _helpless_ –-so **weak** –-_not enough hatred_ something inside of me whispered and screamed and overwhelmed me and–damn it all!

I called him being my most precious person, I told him that. I said it and I meant it. He's the most important person in my life, he's the only one I bother with, the only one that makes me feel so confused and helpless and –-this was so hard cause I didn't know what to do –-how to act, and damn him! Even asleep he manages to make me so **_angry! So utterly confused!_**

I felt he was special, important. I had to declare that to him, had to make sure he understood that even if I wasn't sure of what I meant as well. My body had the tendency to act on its own will when it involved Naruto.

I heard a groan next to me, I slightly wondered when I had come back to his room and sat down on the floor, _right next to his bed. _I hadn't even noticed I had been staring.

Just what was so captivating about him? What keeps me close to him like a moth to a flame?

"I think I like you" I also think that it had been me that breathed that out. It was a befuddling epiphany as I stared in wonder, amazement and some other feeling I couldn't as of yet recognize. I felt breathless as I stared at the sight that was all Naruto before I closed my eyes and fell into deep oblivion. Right next to his body.

It would be the next morning until I questioned myself on how I had ended up on the moron's bed.

* * *

reading this again, i think i changed my mind. i really really like it. but anyway!

review!

**_rya._**


	14. Chapter 14: Closer

**Are you that willing to break me?**

**_He punched and I kicked _**

**_We sifted through the grass _**

**_We landed on the ground _**

**_I laughed and he smirked _**

**_The thrill full rush ran through our veins _**

**_We rose up high _**

**_We drowned in eternity _**

**_Life was just like a fight. _**

**_We drew closer _**

**_We drew away _**

**_I screamed and he stared _**

**_We breathed deeply _**

**_Our lips met _**

**_Life began again _**

**_Naruto._****_

* * *

_**

The first thing I took note on as I slowly slipped awake, was that it was warm. Or rather there was something warm –on top of me.The next thing that I noticed was that I wasn't panicking as I should've been. I, in fact, seemed snuggled up against the mentioned body. Which was way, too close for comfort. I still wondered why I wasn't panicking. Yet.

As if my mind finally connected with my body, I gave a loud yelp and pushed the body off of me with a loud thud.

Yes, it was a wonderful day in Konohagakure no Sato.

A kunai sifted through the air.

Yeah, completely normal.

* * *

"Yeah? Well you seemed pretty comfy to me!" I yelled loudly, a part of me was glad that we were back to fighting. 

"It's not like I wanted to wake up next to you, moron, I don't even know how I got there!" Sasuke snapped which only received a disbelieving glare in return before I turned back to the stove.

Why did I have to cook for the bastard anyway?

"Hmph," I puffed my cheeks out and pouted childishly. I was still confused on how we ended up together in bed and why the hell hadn't I panicked like before.

It was weird and even though that should be fine, (Right? That mean I was getting better) I wasn't fine with it, I was confused.

Grr, why the hell was life so complicated?

Hadn't I had enough? Now everything was becoming weird with my teammates and something in me kept saying that I should really, really go talk to Iruka-sensei before he found out some other way. I shook my head at that. There was no way; Sasuke was enough, why should anybody else bother with my problems.

Not that they would care anyway….

And, and I was fine…with the gaara thing… I flinched.

Damn, I was fine with it, I said it out loud, and Sasuke was not turning away for god only knew why; stupid, unpredictable, stick-up-his-ass jerk.

It was fine.

No more confrontations or anything. I was fine.

I gritted my teeth. "Here's your breakfast asshole" I ground out before turning to eat myself.

The rest of breakfast was quiet, with only the occasional 'pass the –object-' or 'eat with your mouth shut, idiot' here and there.

When we finished eating, I left the plates on the sink (I was going to make Sasuke wash them!) before I headed towards the bathroom. I felt weird not being my usual loud self, it felt awkward.

I disliked acting like that sometimes, other times I did it so naturally. It was part of me after all, only too enhanced when needed to be. And now I was confused as to 'how to act around that bastard Sasuke' because I didn't know whether I should go back to being excessively loud or just be, well, not excessively loud.

I brushed my teeth and changed clothes before heading out again. Sasuke was back in the living room, a smirk plastered on his face when I entered it. He seemed to be staring back at the kitchen. Turning around I met the sight of unclean plates. I scowled and cursed him under my breath. "You sleep in my bed, eat my food, and you can't even wash the plates? Are your hands so delicate Sasuke-hime?" I mocked as I looked back to my rival.

There was a strange fluttering inside my tummy when I met obsidian mischievous eyes. I felt my breath be knocked out of me for a few seconds before Sasuke's face changed to a scowl; a result from my princess comment.

I immediately looked away in shock (and embarrassment as I felt my cheeks flush.) I cleared my throat before I decided, enough was enough and the bastard was getting out of my house.

Right now.

As if the other knew of my intentions, I found myself pinned under an unmoving stare as Sasuke spoke out the words I dreaded.

"We're talking, and you're not running away again."

I chocked on my breathing before I yelled out, "I think we've talked enough!"

I backed a few steps.

"What else do you want to know anyway?"

My heartbeat increased to a rapid pace as unwanted flashes of my strange dream reproduced in my mind.

I closed my eyes and moved my head away from the direction of my rival.

"Gaara" he whispered somewhat close to me.

I flinched. Trembled a bit too.

There was a feather touch on my hand and I jerked away, eyes shooting open and I found myself face to face with the Uchiha.

"Sasuke" I murmured absently.

_best friend_

_care_

_wouldn't be here if I didn't_

_don't hate you_

"I think I like you."

I jerked away as I found my self-control shattered. I hadn't said that had I?

I didn't want to meet his gaze but was entranced to do so.

My face reddened in shame as I took a full look at his face. It was full of mirth, he probably would make fun of me now. I gave a wry grin, I should've known…

"I think I like you too." He said.

My mind whirled.

There was something about that statement that seemed familiar to me.

"I…" was speechless. I hadn't expected…maybe I should've had…after all with all of our…and all…everything….

Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe this was wrong. What if…this turns out like…

_**What if it doesn't? What if this is right?**_

"Naruto…" His voice was back to his serious tone. Things wouldn't be avoided in the end.

"Okay…" I mumbled.

_Okay,_ that's what I said.

This would turn our relationship, I knew. There wasn't much to lose anymore. There was everything.

_**Maybe this was for the best.**_

I leaned in closer, my cheek touching his before I rested on his shoulder.

"Okay…"

My arms wrapped around his waist. I willed away all the memories, all my initial reactions towards this.

He hugged me back.

Maybe this time around, things won't turn so bad.

_**As far as I knew, none of us were sure.

* * *

**_

I curled myself up in the couch in a defensive fashion.

Sasuke took the other couch and faced me.

The silence didn't last long, he spoke and I answered. He knew everything already and now it was only me to talk. It was hard. The questions that he asked me didn't ask of the event, they asked of me. I never talked about me before unless I was bragging. Not even Iruka-sensei had managed that much, we only looked for a future and frequent events. The hated had been put past behind.

Sasuke didn't though. He only asked about me. Our conversation started so simple I had stared at him as if he had grown a second head. He asked about my favorite things, people I liked, people I disliked. He talked about our academy days and told me some of his. I saw pain on his face at times as if he was remembering something that had hurt him a lot. There were parts were he turned cold and I wanted to make him warm again.

We finally got down to my own past and I felt compelled to tell him everything and more. He knew of the Kyuubi already and I told him I hadn't known for long. I talked of past days, confessed that I wanted to have been his friend before but was too stubborn to make something of it. I grinned at the happy memories, few as they were. I let my neutral face take place when I mentioned how lonely it felt when the villagers ignored me.

"At times I had felt as if I ceased to exist, they turned away from me and I didn't know why"

I didn't known my parents either, I felt alone. I didn't want to sound like a tragic hero; my resentment and bitterness was an undertone that was not missed.

When we turned back to him he told me of Itachi, hard as it was to get it out of him. I knew Sasuke had wanted revenge but never knew of whom or what had happened to make him this way. I remembered when he was just like any other kid, happy and bright, before he cut himself off of socialization.

We grew closer to the main topic but I had forgotten about it at some point. There was warmth flooding through me. This was something I had never done before. It must have been hours that we talked and I felt good.

I saw him smile a couple times, as small as they were. I'm pretty sure I mimicked said action, genuine ones replacing my ever-present fox-grin.

We did eventually get to Gaara and I subdued myself at that point. What had happened to Sasuke shouldn't have happened. I told him so. What had happened to me shouldn't have either. He told me but I gave no response.

"You really are an idiot, usuratonkachi, if you think that it should have." The fierceness of his voice hit something inside of me and I curled up tighter.

There were people who cared, he told me. I wanted to believe him, I really did. Maybe my mind was messed up more than it should've been. Maybe that had been my breaking point.

Facing Gaara again brought back things that I wanted to put behind. It unleashed pain that I had wanted to decay. I was sure I wasn't ready to confront him. Not at all.

I felt he had power over me, I felt weak, something I hated above all else.

Sasuke reminded me I wasn't. He called me an idiot for thinking so. I was a shinobi, I was not weak.

He bragged that I couldn't beat him though, and I punched him as my trademark determination took place again.

There was something about this that made me feel better.

We drew closer, that made me happy.

I kissed the corner of his lips and moved away quickly. I felt satisfaction to see Sasuke blush, and grinned before declaring that I was going to train, the Chunnin exams were coming after all.

As I dragged him off to spar I thought that even if I couldn't handle Gaara now, I was going to get better and kick his ass. As well as Sasuke's because that's just something I had to do.

Our relationship (something we had yet to discuss, but maybe we shouldn't anyhow) might grow slowly, but it was something I should look forward too.

When we arrived to the training grounds I realized we were holding hands.

He leaned slowly and I drew closer. Our lips met and we closed our eyes, breathing deeply because this was something new that neither of us knew or were ready for.

I licked his lips before I separated us, giving a playful grin before I moved to kick him.

He blocked and our training began.

* * *

**I have updated! yay! i actually wanted to post this before but the sever or something wasnt working and i coulnt log in -cries-**

_and now i finally have managed to update._

_and its not one in the morning -le gasp- this is a first updating in the middle of the day_

_yup sooo happy_

_so review!_

_that makes me even happier._

_oh yeah, as some of you might have correctly assumed (or not..) The reason of why Sasuke amused when Naruto said 'I think I like you' wasbecause he remebered he had said those exact same words to him last night and finds it amusing that Naruto said the same thing.Naruto mistook this and may never find our the reason of why kukukuku_

_thse guys are so troublesome, my initial plan had been naruto saying that to sasuke and then sasuke...actually i hadnt planned that far, maybe how it turned out is for the best._

_heh, so anyway reviews are very much welcomed :domo:_

_**Rya.**_


	15. Chapter 15: Boundaries

**Are you that willing to break me?**

****

_**Through our laughter**_

_**Through our tears**_

_**Will you really stay?**_

_**Are you for real?**_

_**Can I trust you?**_

_**Can I say yes?**_

_**Time will only tell…**_

**_Naruto_**

**

* * *

**

Talking to Sasuke had been great.

It's certainly improved our **relationship?** It's weird calling it so.

Yeah, we teased a bit, a few stolen kisses. I was reluctant to do anything else. So was he for that matter; we were both still inexperienced.

Well that and I still didn't trust him that much.

I turned the knob of the shower before stepping in.

It's not that I don't trust him, I mean it is, but it's not, gah! It's just hard. Obviously I've never had a relationship like this before, so it was strange.

We hadn't talked about _that _either. It's a subject we avoided. I don't know what the problem was in the first place, I should just get over it, it happened and it's in the past. There wasn't anything I could do about it now. Nothing.

I lathered my hair. The scent of oranges lingered in the air.

It's been weeks, long enough to get over it, right? I'm not flinching at Sasuke's advances, as minimum as they were. My nightmares, well they weren't decreasing much, but they weren't getting worse either. I guess what matter most was that I wasn't consciously thinking about it. It doesn't get to me.

My soapy hands scrubbed hard into my skin. I felt unusually dirty.

Life was going good actually. I've been training regularly with Sasuke for the Chunnin exams, I felt stronger already. I was sure to win!

I scrubbed a bit harder this time, without taking notice of said action. My skin turned red under the hot scalding water.

I was a bit, well not _afraid; _I just didn't want to break down when I saw Gaara again.

It makes me almost not want to take the exams, but I was going to, I wouldn't back out, I wasn't a coward!

My skin opened and closed in gashes, blood, and chakra. Nails broke skin and I winced noticing the damage I was inflicting.

_His nails dug into my skin. He grinned cynically before moving towards my collarbone, biting, sucking, nipping. I screamed._

I took a step back and hit the wall. I lost my balance and almost slipped on the running water but held on to the nearest surface, chakra sticking my hands to the tiles unconsciously.

I stared forward. Water dripped down from my body. The pressure of the flow on my skin felt intense. I closed my eyes and sighed, turning the shower off and grabbing a towel.

It would get better over time, right? It won't always be like this. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be afraid of anymore. The whole experience was so humiliating, that I was weak enough to be…to be….

I growled lowly in my throat.

Fucker.

I wasn't weak at all, and the next time I saw the Demon of the Sand I was going to do some major ass kicking.

I dried my hair off and let the towel hang from my shoulders. I put some slacks on and headed to the kitchen.

_I care. _

_You're my best friend._

_I think I like you too._

The guy was fucked up in the head, and he wanted to do the same to me. I wasn't going to turn on the village. I wasn't a traitor and would never be one.

Sasuke cared, as unbelievable as it sounded, he cared about **me.**

_"Everyone's been worried. They want to know what's going on." I stared at him and he stared back. He hadn't told anything and wouldn't unless I tell him too. Which he probably wouldn't do either and would leave me to explain myself. Asshole._

I grabbed a bottle of water and some of Kakashi-sensei's fruit, (when had he come in my house?) before heading over to the bedroom.

It's better to take chances; I don't have much to lose. I've lived most of my life alone, and now that I've gained some precious people, even if I held them as close as I wanted, it wouldn't save me from heartbreak. We were ninjas and anyone of us could die at any time. I just had to make sure to become strong enough to stop that.

_He pulled me out the door and I barely cached the words he mumbled. "stupid…doesn't see…I have to remind…" He elbowed me and I elbowed him back. I stuck my tongue out at him and he scowled before turning away with a light smirk._

Sasuke's great. The exams are coming. Gaara's coming. I still needed to talk to sensei.

I also had to stop avoiding Sakura. Or not.

"Idiot"

I entered the room and threw the fruit to Sasuke, setting my water on the desk. He caught the apple but discarded it, standing from my bed and approaching me.

"Don't call me an idiot, bastard." I responded automatically, minus the normal animosity.

He fingered the red gashes reflecting off my skin. I shivered at the contact, a strange feeling in my stomach that I've never felt before.

He removed his hand at my tremor, backing off my skin thinking he shouldn't have done that.

I stepped forward and caught him in an abrupt kiss.

The first kiss we shared had been in the classroom, and that had been full of saliva and clanging teeth.

I pressed him closer moving my mouth and shutting my eyes in intensity.

The second kiss hadn't been as unexpected. It was consented and soft, a mere brush of lips.

I ran my hand through his hair and the other linking fingers with his.

The kisses that followed after were unpredictable and chaste, slowly going deeper over time. They had been full of nose bumping, and foreheads colliding, embarrassing little things that one always wanted to forget.

This kiss was nothing like the rest. I pulled him closer and licked his lips, just like a few days ago. I bit his lower lip softly, the rush slowly dying away, our deep connection still unbroken.

He stepped back in surprise at my actions. I held him from moving, hands leaving their place and encircling his waist, pulling him toward me. I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against him.

"Don't" His voice was hesitant.

He stepped back again and this time I followed. When we landed on the bed Sasuke panicked.

"Naruto" he warned worried.

I was fine. I wasn't going to be held back by Gaara forever. I was going to get over this. I was going to stop being weak. I was not weak.

I rolled over so I was no longer on top of him but side by side. I stared at the ceiling and licked my lips. I tasted Sasuke. I grinned.

"Sasuke" there was an answering silence which I had learned to interpret.

The mood was somber and I wanted to break it. I remembered my kitchen expedition and asked the only thing I could think of.

"There's no more ramen in the house!" I whined as I turned to look at him.

His serious face changed to a gapping one and I laughed.

When he punched my shoulder I continued grinning and pulled him for another kiss.

Could they make Sasuke flavored ramen? I could get used to it.

I unfortunately had to leave the bed, hanging the towel, depositing back the uneaten fruit (if he wasn't going to eat it he shouldn't have asked me for food!) and closing the kitchen window (another thing I was going to reprimand Kakashi-sensei about.)

When I finally crawled back to bed, pulling the covers up, I held Sasuke snuggly by his waist.

He grunted in annoyance and shifted in bed.

I let my head rest at the nape of his neck, our legs tangled and no unpleasant memories resurfaced.

Being with Sasuke, it made me feel safe.

* * *

rejoice people! i have found a plot! 

ahem...anyway...

give me ice cream and i give you chapters.

i luff my ice cream. yeah.

this chapter. sucked. but needed to be posted. because? you shall see. soon enough. -cackles-

so i should've posted this last night. i didnt.

anyway! im feeling randomly hyper.

which is good after sulking for about three days.

my game arrived, yeah. and i played. and i was happy. and then when i go play again my whole memory card is erased. all of my games. everything. i sulked and angsted and became a mini sasuke. yeah. so not fair.

and now im playing again. still sulking.

does anyone know when the fillers end by the way? cause i wanna see my smexy sasuke. shirtless. yeah. -drools-

and i love kishimoto-sama.

heh, i went back and read the sasunaru scenes of part two.

i feel happy.

DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. that's our little naruto. the point of this was. trying to get over it. a bit. and then gaara confrontation.

i shall give you a preview. because i can.

_"Why?" he asked blankly._

_He chuckled darkly before licking my cheek. The sand pinned me to the wall and I felt frozen._

_"Get the fuck off me" I whispered harshly. Chakra violently spewed from me, the sand collapsed to the floor._

_"Gaara." I growled._

REVIEW!


	16. Chapter 16: Unavailable

**Are you that willing to break me?**

Sasuke scoffed, walking down Naruto's apartment building. _What a moron…_ were his thoughts.

He stared up at the starless sky. It was a dark blue, devoid of anything, even the lonely clouds.

He jumped up on a roof, deciding to take the high way. He slipped on the wet surface before regaining his balance. It had rained yesterday.

He began to run. He ran to have a sense of freedom; he ran because his thoughts were cluttered; he ran because he didn't understand.

He ran because he wanted to escape.

Everything was becoming…weird, he could say.

Naruto…the blonde moron had been…

He wondered why he stuck to him like this. It wasn't very Uchiha-like in his opinion. He was just…drawn to him. It was a connection between them. It was a weakness. He shouldn't feel this way, in the end he could only get hurt.

But he really didn't think he could get hurt. He wouldn't believe it. He had told him about _that man_, he had told him about everything. He felt so **exposed.**

He didn't like feeling this way.

His feet met concrete as he jumped down. He had arrived home. It was an apartment building, but in a much better state than his teammate's. He had never set foot in _that place _eversince that night.

There was a flash of silver at the top of the building, he didn't notice. He entered.

Arriving at his door, he opened it, going inside. He took off his sandals leaving them at the entrance. He headed for the shower, taking a stray shirt and some slacks from his bedroom. Turning the knob, he discarded his clothes and reached for a kunai. He didn't have enough patience tonight to carefully undo the bandages at his feet. He went in when the temperature felt warm enough.

He stood there for a minute, feeling as droplets of water ran down his pale body, and let out a slight sigh as he let his body relax. He shrugged his shoulders, getting the kinks out before reaching for the soap. As he lathered his body he continued thinking of his current situation.

Why was it him? Why did he like him, even **that way. **He hadn't gotten close to anyone since then. His goal was always to train, to become strong enough to kill _him._

Now it plagued him that he hadn't thought as much of his goal as he had of Naruto.

Was it right? Was it okay? It was more of a pull, an attraction, but that didn't have to mean it was, dare he say it, love.

It was just…he didn't know.

Was it pity? No, it wasn't pity. It couldn't be that, because Uchiha Sasuke did not pity.

No, it had to be something else. For now, it wasn't anything more than merely attraction.

The similarity, the differences in their lives, their haunted pasts, they were just a thread that connected them, a link that could only grow stronger over time.

Water drenched his ebony hair a bit past his shoulders, his rooster tail no longer sprang on its end.

He rinsed his hair out before turning the knob off and grabbing a towel. The steam rose high in the air and he coughed once at inhalation.

He dried his hair, moving slowly down to his body. He began to dress himself, boxers and slacks. He hanged the towel on his shoulder, much like the idiot had done a few nights ago. He cursed himself for continuing to think of him. It was becoming an obsession.

He grabbed his shirt and stepped out of his bathroom. He gave a slight jolt before tensing. He narrowed his eyes at his silver-haired teacher, giving a sideway glance to the clock (it was past midnight) before grounding out.

"May I help you with something, _sensei?_"

He got no answer, only a curved eye before it glanced back to an orange book.

Sasuke scowled.

He stalked off to his bedroom paying no heed to his teacher, he would speak up when he felt like it, and Sasuke would listen if he felt like it too.

He gave a momentary glance to his team picture, lingering slightly on yellow-hair and blue-eyes. He put on the light blue shirt he had been carrying and dropped down on his bed.

Shifting slightly on it, he stared at the ceiling for a few moments before closing his eyes and concentrating on the chakra presence outside his room.

He wondered why his teacher was here.

After a few moments the chakra finally moved. He felt it come closer until it stood outside his door. He opened his eyes and leaned on his elbows, taking a few seconds to look at the man in front of him before sitting up.

There was a moment of silence in which no one spoke. The jounin seemed to enjoy bothering him and thoughts of kunai filled sensei's came to mind.

"You came from the direction of Naruto's house." the man said in an uncaring tone, yet Sasuke could see his carefully worded attempt.

He said nothing in response and continued to stare.

After a while, Sasuke grunted in dissatisfaction knowing the jounin wasn't going to say anything unless he replied.

"Yes."

He saw the curved eye again and felt like strangling the man. _He's having way to much fun pissing me off…_

When the eye uncurved and turned to look at him he knew this conversation was going to go in another direction.

"Sasuke, what do you know about Naruto?"

Sasuke pretended that he didn't care about the question or the answer. He gave his teacher a blank look before drawling out, "He's an idiot that wants to be Hokage. He likes ramen."

He gave an inward smirk, his eyes dancing with mischief.

"Naruto has been acting strangely as of late, do you know anything about it?" the man tried again.

_Of course I know, _Sasuke thought acidly. _He got raped and can't trust anyone._

"What would I know?" He scoffed instead. _But even though I know, I can't let them find out. Or at least not by me, it isn't my place to say._

"Sasuke," the man's tone was serious. "If there's anything you know it would be best for you to say it."

He sneered. "Why would I know anything about that idiot?"

The realization that saying those kinds of words made something in him clench was the last straw. _I'm growing soft!_

Kakashi sighed. "Fine, then."

He threw an object in his direction before turning around.

"If there's something that you ever need to tell me, or if something happens and you need help, you can call me with that.

"Sasuke," There was a slight pause. "…be careful."

"It isn't me who you should be giving this too."

"Perhaps."

With that he left and all Sasuke could do as he leaned back on the bed was stare at the object in his hand.

It was a three-point kunai.

_Now what the hell am I supposed to do with this?_

He placed the kunai on his bedside table.

Tomorrow was the Chunnin exam.

_Let's just hope everything will go well._

With that last thought in mind, he ebbed away his growing hate of Gaara of the Sand, whom he was sure to meet tomorrow. He closed his eyes and let out an exhausted breath as he fell into deep oblivion.

_

* * *

_

I want to know how many people guessed the flash of silver was kakashi?anyone? 

on another note: _He cursed himself for continuing to think of him. It was becoming an obsession._

'suke's such a hypocrite. heh.

i luff the reviewers who gave me the luvly ice cream. your telepathetic powers indulged my parents to buy me some.

i ate it all by myself. yuuuuum.

now the chapter that you wanted is not available. until tomorrow that is. that's why you should review. i might just horde it all to myself -whistles innocently-

see the thing was, i started writing but what came out was a 3rd pov sasuke.

it's rii's fault. i swear. she's a bad muse.

if anyone spots a mistake, grammatical, spelling, whatever, please do tell me. i went back to my last sasuke chapter to find a missing word.

what did you think of this chapter? i noticed i like shower scenes. hehe.

imo i didnt want another 'how sasuke feels' because i thought ch.13 was enough. rii dissagreed apparently. I'll probably erase this tomorrow anyway and put the last scene as some sort of flashback. or soemthing. or ill erase it too. i don't know ill see.

about the kunai, for those who read the kakashi gaiden you should know about it. for the others, well you'll find out due time. i couldnt think of another object to use but this and i know kakashi cant use body flicker but he'll find a way to get wherever in time. or will he?

la-la-la... i say nothing.

**_rya._**


	17. Chapter 17: Confrontations

**Are you that willing to break me?**

__

**_I met you with clash and teeth and bites_**

**_agony, screams _**

**_pain and fear_**

**_I saw you with hate, contempt, and unimaginable fury_**

**_Now I see you differently _**

**_red and blood on you rather than me_**

**_I see my fury on my surroundings and my death on you._**

**_Even if my soul can't revive, neither will you._**

**Naruto

* * *

**

"Good. All of you are here."

Kakashi-sensei stood between us and the door of the examination room.

"What are you talking about sensei?" I questioned curiously.

Sensei gave his eye smile as he said, "Well if one of you failed to show up, you wouldn't have been able to continue."

Our eyes widened, especially mine.

Before we could even think of yelling or hurting our jounin teacher, the man disappeared in a puff of smoke, his last words being, "Good luck!" and he left.

We stood gapingly in front of the door with promises of violence to come later. Finally Sasuke-kun moved forward and we followed.

"So you made it!"

The rookie nine exchanged greetings. Ino-pig clung to Sasuke-kun and we exchanged glares.

We blinked surprised when Sasuke shrugged us off. He stepped away from us and scanned the room.

I gave a quick glance to Naruto; he had been acting strange lately. My gaze turned back to Sasuke as I felt him tense, Naruto soon following his example. I followed their trail of sight and met aqua-green eyes. It was the red-head from before.

I shuddered as I remembered that day. I couldn't question Naruto, or even Sasuke who had gone after him. They were both so closed off now.

I have to admit that I missed our loud blonde.

The rest of the rookie nine was now quiet. They seemed to know that something had happened to Naruto since he wasn't being his usual self. For some reason I felt that they had no right to know of it, or even to question it. Even if they wouldn't tell me, they were still my teammates and…and…

"Naruto-baka! Stop trying to look cool!" I shouted. I hoped he noticed I didn't mean it like that. I gazed intently into his eyes and I guessed he got it as he gave a slight nod.

"Sakura-chaaaan" he whined when I punched his arm.

The rest of the group seemed to relax. Kiba went to bother Naruto and Hinata stopped staring at him worriedly, going back to her stuttering blushing self.

Shikamaru was the only one who seemed to be looking at them in suspicion, but I shrugged it off. What would that idiot know?

A silver haired guy suddenly appeared out of nowhere telling us to not be so loud.

When he told us about his information cards I perked up. This seemed like a good opportunity to find out about that guy.

"ano…" everyone gazed at me and I blushed self-consciously.

"Do you have any information on Sabaku Gaara?"

I knew both Naruto and Sasuke tensed again before giving me meaningful glares. I inwardly flinched but if they weren't gong to tell me I would have to find out some other way.

I was worried about them. I had the right to know, right?

"So you already know the name, that's good. It'll be easier to find the card now."

After a few seconds he found the card and began reading it aloud.

_This guy was amazing! _I thought as Kabuto gave the information.

_Not a single scratch, amazing…_

_But what do those two have to do with him?_

I thought for a moment when I realized something.

_Could it be…that Naruto met him in that mission?_

"All right! Everyone settle down before I kick you out!"

Whoops, looks like I spaced out.

Time to begin the exams. I hope I can pass.

-----

I gave a slight shudder as I met aqua-green eyes. He stared impassively at me but I could see the corner of his lips twist into a maniacal grin. I looked away and clenched my firsts.

_Bastard…_

I glanced at Sasuke who was beside me. He seem to tense too, I could feel his anger radiate off of him.

I blinked.

I hadn't expected him to be this angry. I mean, um, uh…

I blushed slightly but I didn't know why.

I shook my head and let out a sigh, then noticed everything went quiet.

Why was everything quiet?

"Naruto-baka! Stop trying to look cool!" Sakura suddenly yelled. I gazed at her confusingly then it clicked.

"Sakura-chaaaaan" I whined as she punched my arm.

Sakura gave a slight smile before turning away to inspect the crowd. I felt gratitude and relief flow through me at her help.

Kiba came to boast now that everyone was talking again. I acted my part and stuck out my tongue childishly.

Sasuke seemed to relax too. I guess Sakura had done the right thing. It took a lot off our minds.

For the next couple minutes nothing happened. _Where was the examiner anyway?_ I wondered. He better not be like Kakashi-sensei and be late!

My thoughts were soon interrupted as a silver haired guy stepped forward. My stomach churned and I thought I heard the furball growl.

Eh, must've been my imagination.

"ano…"

I looked back at Sakura who had decided to speak up. She blushed lightly before continuing.

"Do you have any information on Sabaku Gaara?" she questioned.

I blinked. At first I thought I heard wrong as I gazed at her in disbelieve. I tensed as I realized, _no she did actually ask that! _Then glared at her hard, clenching my fists. _How dare she…? _I thought angrily.

I felt Sasuke shift beside me and knew he was thinking along the same lines as me. We both watched as Sakura's eyes widened before giving us swift short glances.

_Damn! She knows something._

It didn't take much after this for the examiner to finally show up and the exams to begin.

----

_So one more know, or does she?_

I paid not much thought into it for now. All I could focus on were two things. I needed to pass this exam.

And Sabaku Gaara was only a few feet away.

I willed myself to be calm. I couldn't start a fight in the middle of the exam. There will be time for that later.

The only good thing about Sakura's curiosity was that I learned some information about that guy.

He's had no injuries in any of his missions. That meant that the guy was particularly good.

_All the more exciting_

And all the better too since it would bring me one step closer to killing Itachi.

I activated my sharingan, they flashed with hidden fury before copying the movements of the guy in front of me.

I needed to pass this exam. And after, I was going to kill one sand bastard.

---

I couldn't figure out the answers to the exam and panicked. I needed to pass this test, I couldn't give up now that I've gotten this far. I needed to prove myself. I had to pass, definitely.

I grinded my teeth as I scrambled for ideas. _Okay, so what do I do? What do I do?_

_"If we catch you cheating we will mark it against you. Three strikes and you're out."_

That didn't leave me much. _What do I do!_

"Naruto-kun,"

I glance sideways to Hinata to see what she wanted.

"Naruto-kun…you can... you can copy from me..." she offered softly.

I stared at her for a few moments before shaking my head slightly and declining her request.

"Don't worry about it Hinata. I don't want you to get in trouble." I said kindly. This girl was really too nice.

_"If we catch you cheating we will mark it against you. Three strikes and you're out."_

I blinked. If they _catch _me cheating. That means…

I was about to take Hinata's offer when a voice rang out.

"Team Four, Six and Twelve, you're out!" one of the examiners barked out none too kindly.

I gulped. Okay, I had to do this very carefully.

I let my eyes glance at her paper and started to doodle in the corner of mine. A stick-figure of me with the Hokage Hat grinning, hand out in a V sat at the top-right corner of my exam.

My lips curved up as I chuckled inwardly.

Now the first problem was…

"All right time for the tenth question. Pencils down and listen up!"

_shit!_

---

I saw as Naruto tensed. _That baka he hasn't answered anything, he couldn't have!_

"Now for the tenth question there is a special rule. You can choose to take it or you can choose not to."

One of the gennin from the back asked how that could be.

"Quiet down before I throw you out!" the examiner barked in response.

With a shudder everyone stayed still as we listened intently.

"If you choose not to take the question you can walk out that door and come back next year. However if you take it and answer incorrectly you can't ever become chunnin"

There was a whisper of commotion as they questioned the man but he only answered with a sadistic smirk and a 'too bad'

Many left. I watched as Naruto trembled and grew worried. _His dream is to become Hokage. He's probably doing this for the team._

_Naruto…_

I slowly began to raise my hand, ignoring Sasuke's disbelieving glare.

_I had to do this._

There was a loud slam as palm met wood and Naruto stood up. I looked at him startled as he yelled he wouldn't give up.

I stared at him amazed and wondered what could've changed in him. A few days ago he was as dark and brooding as Sasuke-kun. Now he seemed to be going back to his previous self. I felt relief when I realized that but my curiosity continued to look for answers.

_Why…can't they tell me?_

_I'm their teammate too, I should know…right?_

---

The first exam was finally over. The prankster in me danced as I walked out of them room. I had passed without even writing anything. Hehehe

Even with that small victory I scanned the building looking for _him._

_"**Boo"**_

I gave a violent flinch as I swirled around, meeting green haunting eyes and red hair.

I felt my breathing pick up as I faintly noticed the hallway was empty. I focused on the presence before me and backed away slowly, only to meet wall.

_Shit! _I thought desperately.

I wanted to run; I wanted to get out of here; I wanted to curl up and never see his face again.

"Why!" I asked in a strangled whisper-shout, my fists curled up in my sides and I willed my body not to move, not to tremble, not to _scream._

"Why?" he asked blankly.

He chuckled darkly before stepping forward to lick my cheek. He trailed down to my neck and bit. My body trembled wildly.

Sand rose high in the air and I wondered where it had come from.

_Stupid, he has Shukaku! He controls the sand! _Something in me whispered and screamed in a wild attempt to move but I was constricted as the sand pinned me harshly on the wall. He stepped closer and I felt frozen.

"Get the fuck off me" I whispered harshly. He paid me no heed and grinned that cursed grin of his. I couldn't do anything but shudder.

Suddenly something red flashed through my eyes and chakra began to violently spew from me, the sand collapsing to the floor.

"Gaara." I growled.

He seemed surprised for a moment before regaining his wits. His sand sprang forward but I wouldn't let it touch me.

Chakra continued to flow out of me and around me, then around _him, _and he was the one constricted.

"_You fucking bastard!" _I spat out harshly, with fury, disgust and every other emotion I've felt since that day.

I didn't want him to talk, didn't want his excuses if he even had any. Al I wanted was to **_rip him apart!_**

There was a crowd surrounding us now. Purple chakra and Sand battled. Chunnin and even some jounin had come to watch what was going on.

Most adults shuddered and glared in disgust as they realized what was happening. Others scoffed and turned away hoping we'd kill each other off.

The smart ones were worried whether we'd turn on the village.

The gennin who had no idea where this power came from stared in fear and amazement.

I couldn't focus on anything except Gaara. We stared at the other, him with malicious pleasure and me with promised pain.

The killer intent rose high enough to alert everyone and I was startled out of our battle when Iruka's voice yelled.

**_"Naruto!"_**

Even the Hokage was there, Kakashi-sensei too, I faintly noticed.

None of them reached me in time however, because Sasuke soon appeared and grabbed us both.

We disappeared in a mix of sand, chakra, and smoke.

* * *

-cackles- i've got to say that i am quite satisfied with this chapter. 

it's long and im very happy about it

so the povs go in this order: saku naru sasu naru saku naru

i see a pattern

huh i hadn't intended that

review!

**_rya._**


	18. Chapter 18: Control

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**I find your pained screams cute**_

_**Your blood-splattered face alluring**_

_**Your pained blue eyes enticing**_

_**Your sobs of desperation arousing**_

**_I asked of you the first time but you rejected_**

_**I gave you a choice but you chose not to take it**_

_**I told you what to do but you didn't listen**_

_**And now I find you again but there's another**_

_**I'll kill him**_

_**I'll make him scream too**_

_**Because you're mine**_

_**only mine**_

**Gaara.**

**----------------------------------------------------**

**Please keep any and every pointy object to yourselves**

**----------------------------------------------------**

We landed in an abandoned clearing with jolt. What just…?

Sasuke stood up beside me. In front of us….Gaara.

I clenched my fists tightly. My body shook in bitter anger, confusion, **_terror._**

The Sand-nin growled before us, darting his eyes at our surrounding. He tensed. So did we. Then we moved and it all began.

We jumped up and attacked. There a messy set of movements and limbs colliding. Sasuke kicked, I punched with everything I had. Gaara disappeared.

His laughter shook my senses. It mocked me and scared me.

I looked around startled, met his eyes, and was stilled. I saw his lips moving, no sound coming out but I could read them clearly.

_"You think you can beat me? You think you will escape me?"_

Lips turned into cracked grin, insanity sparking on clouded aquamarine eyes. And all Gaara did was disappear in a sphere of sand.

There was a rustle behind us, just as I was about to move, about to thrust my fist on the face I knew would be there- I felt a hot breath stop me. Skin touched mine; dry lips were centimeters away from my earlobe. He blew, his possessive tone making my body jump as he whispered: **_"mine"_**

I whirled again with terse movements. Adrenaline shot up through my veins as a hot burning chakra surrounded me; my eyes stung. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as I moved. I pulled my arm back, my hand clenched into a fist as I moved forward to punch him again. I didn't miss.

Gaara flew half-across the field, landing with a loud crack. Dust spread out and around obscuring our vision.

Sasuke began hand-seals from behind me; a fire jutsu.

I moved to make my Kage Bunshin, going quickly through the seals when I stopped, looking forward. The dust slowly dispersed, we were met by a perplexing sight

Gaara's face fell off, trickling into the ground until there was nothing left of it but a heap of sand.

The figure we thought was there wasn't.

We moved a minute too late.

A heft of sand rose startlingly quick, throwing us back with a bang. An inhuman screech rose high up in the air as we slammed back into the ground. Sand trickled around my body and held me-

-just like that day, like that time, like those **_screams-_**

Someone was shouting. I turned but couldn't see anything. My vision clouded and stung ever harder than before.

"Naruto!"

I screamed. The sand pierced my skin in a way that scratched, tore, and **_hurt._** Unbelievably so.

Chakra enveloped me, mixing with the sand as my wounds continued closing and opening and re-closing again, my body tearing apart; I felt as if I was losing control.

A dark growl tore through my throat and the atmosphere seemed to still. My mind blanked as I pounced, fist meeting _something _but I knew it wasn't him.

Sasuke stood beside me again, I faintly noticed, giving me a slight check over before he moved to attack again. A barricade of kunai met nothing. Why wasn't anything working!

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"

The scalding temperature surrounded the field. Sasuke was wasting too much chakra, at this rate…

I tried to catch his eyes as we attacked Gaara again. He didn't meet mine.

His movements refined as he ran, left, right, in a blur I lost him as he jumped up and…where was he?

A flash of black and blue made me freeze as Sasuke drove himself into my- our opponent.

He attacked, desperately so. Hit after hit connecting into the red-head and all I could do was watch through hazy eyes.

_This…wasn't right…_

And as I finished that trail of thought Sasuke landed on the ground with a scream. His faced twisted in a raw pain as the sand enveloped his body, he was…he was….!

"SASUKE!"

I sprang. What if he kills him, what if…?

_"mine"_

_**no!**_

I clenched my jaw and tasted blood, didn't realize my fangs elongated and my nails grew because all I could think of was _letgofhimyousonofabitch!_

I pounced, and screamed, and something in me whispered over and over again with words I couldn't understand. My vision hurt blindingly, it burned my eyes for some inexplicable reason. I felt my body grow heavier, grow warmer, sweltering hot and…

…and all I could do was watch, as if it was a play. Watch as my body moved on its own will and my consciousness lost itself to another world.

Red or some shade of it rose up in the air. I couldn't distinguish it through my burning eyes.

It slashed and tore and I watched fascinated as Gaara's back met a tree with a hard impact. An agonizing scream of pain resounded in the air. Gaara's face froze in shock; it was as if he had never felt pain before. The Sand fought to come up from the ground but gravity held it back with anger. I barely noticed Sasuke on my left, struggling to get back to his feet. He watched the scene in incredibility and a sense of longing.

_Sasuke_

My mind turned and whirled. My stomach bowled over and I felt as if a thousand knifes pierced my skull with fervor. A low whimper escaped my throat as I was surrounded with uncompressible pain. With pounding seconds my consciousness seemed to slowly return to me as the name echoed on the voids of my mind.

_Sasuke_

All my focus suddenly concentrated on him. It was the only thought that resounded through my very being, grounding me into reality. The burning sensations slowly ebbed away. Noticing I was back on my body, something didn't seem right.

I couldn't take control.

My body continued its attacks with calculated hate and vengeful movements. Below me, (I didn't even know when we had moved) the still body of Gaara racked and shuddered in pain. Wide eyes stared at me with something akin to fear. In the depths of my minds I imagined an eerie laugher echoing within.

I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop and in a jolt my will struggled but I still couldn't stop!

"Oi, Naruto! Naruto!"

I could hear Sasuke shouting out to me, I wanted to respond. This was too much. Why couldn't I stop?

And to answer my confusion my head cracked under the pressure of my thoughts and the sand that finally was able to move. The panting sand-nin stilled me with a solid glare, or maybe that was just my imagination again. I coughed as his sand coiled around me.

"Naruto!"

It was a weak hold, even if it didn't seem so. Gaara pulled me away as he moved off, kneeling and coughing and panting as he stared in amazement at his own blood.

Sasuke continued to shout from afar with trembling limbs as he threw a kunai. It gleamed against the sun barely hidden in the clouds. The air blew hard against us all; I winced as sand gathered in my eyes.

The kunai missed Gaara by millimeters, managing to make a few strands of hair fly off into the distance before it connected to a tree with a solid thud.

The pressure around us seemed to stop. Gaara fell backwards and my body wanted to attack again. I didn't dare to move.

There was an odd sound coming from the sand-nin as sand began gathering around him. He looked to be changing shape and something beastly flashed through his eyes.

With irrationality and broken resolution, I sprang forward, kunai in hand and rage coursing through my very being.

A gust if wind gathered in a focal point as if done by some unearthly force. Leaves blew about, passing in front of us and scratching us slightly. In a moment, there was a mix of colors before everything was red with spilt blood.

-----

Commotion was everywhere as the three gennin disappeared. It was a mount of bustling panic. The Kage of the Leaf stared in horror as the mix of sand, chakra, and smoke took away the three boys. Beside him Iruka's eyes widen in fear, and worry. On his other side Kakashi stood frozen, and Sarutobi knew what he was thinking.

_This wasn't good at all._

Immediately, he was aware of what the next course of action should be. For the moment, the next part of the exam had to be postponed.

The visiting gennins grumbled but left off excited to explore the village. As for Konoha's own, they left to their own affairs with disappointment.

Soon enough, the only left were the remaining members of the Rookie Nine. They stood quietly and inquiringly. Their faces showed a determination that told they wouldn't leave without answers.

Sarutobi looked pointedly at Iruka, who even in his worry got his point. He led them out, with a glance that told the Third Hokage that he would certainly be back.

With understanding, as Sandaime knew how close the teacher and Naruto had become, he nodded before turning to address the rest.

Few jounin were left, as well as the chunnin though they were more in abundance. From the corner of his vision he saw a group leaving, a funny look in their eyes; he sighed with grave disappointment.

"All chunin resume as you were. Jounin, please report to mission room."

They departed within seconds. Kakashi had not moved from his place and soon enough Iruka was back, his face told all.

"They didn't take it too well I suppose?" The Hokage asked.

Iruka shook his head. "They'll still try to look for answers but for now they'll lay low."

The Hokage nodded thoughtfully. Not long after the three of them arrived at the Tower. Before entering his office, Sarutobi ordered his secretary to divide the jounin in the mission room, sending them out to locate the missing boys.

They entered the office with ominous silence.

Outside everything seemed normal. Birds flew off into the distance. The villagers continued on their merry way. Children laughed and played, talking about the day's events and chattering happily.

"Your suspicions are correct then?" Sarutobi finally asked.

Kakashi nodded and looked out the window. It seemed surreal that life could go on happily and yet...

"I gave Sasuke sensei's kunai. I will be able to locate them, hopefully. As for Naruto..." He left his sentence hanging. The Sandaime did an odd motion as he clenched his jaw and closed his eyes with regret.

"This shouldn't have happened."

Iruka sat down on a nearby chair. "I tried..." he mumbled. He shut his eyes tightly.

"We all did Iruka" was Kakashi's comforting voice, yet it seemed too empty to be of any help.

"Are you completely sure that that's what happened?" questioned the Hokage.

"Yes." confirmed Kakashi. "I had my suspicions since the beginning, Naruto, however, didn't want to cooperate with any of us. He shut himself too tight and we weren't able to reach him in time."

Iruka looked away, staring far off into the distance with a self-deprecating grin. "I should've tried harder. I almost did it too, before he fled. I wondered what happened that time."

They both looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"On one of my attempts he almost..." Iruka's face twisted for a second. "It was weird, he wasn't exactly himself, and yet, he was. At that moment of slight vulnerability he almost spilled everything when his eyes suddenly widened, almost as he discovered something."

They contemplated this for a moment.

"How did Sasuke even get involved into all this? Iruka asked breaking the silence.

The Hokage blinked and Kakashi gave a small smile, visible even through his ever-present mask.

The mask wrinkled as the jounin made to answer when the door was slammed open, a chunin bursting in with an uneasy voice.

"HOKAGE-SAMA!"

The three jumped before whipping their heads in their intruder's direction.

"We've been unable to find the Uzumaki, Uchiha, and the Kazekage's son."

The chunin fidgeted in his spot, staring at the three men in the room.

As soon as this information was processed Kakashi's body gave a slight jolt. With a widened eye he grabbed onto Iruka, giving a slight glance to the Hokage, who nodded in return, before Kakashi puffed away.

Tentative silence enveloped the office as the Hokage gestured the chunnin away.

"This situation keeps getting worse and worse, and if the worst to come happen the seal could break and a war would break out with the Sand on account of Gaara's probable death."

He stood up from his chair and gazed at his village.

"Let's hope everything comes to a peaceful end." The Hokage said, not believing a word as his heart clenched over with guilt and regret.

---

First of all I would like to inform everybody that I have no confidence on my battle writing abilities. Which I figure that I lack, but I'll let you be the one telling me that.

Sorry about the wait. Starting school and well, I might be regretting honors. Two projects this early in the year, blah.

So I went to re-read my last chapter. I was at the part Kabuto read off Gaara's information when something plagued me; Sasuke and Naruto haven't learned their higher techniques. (Chidori and the summoning jutsu respectively.)

So I ponder: how am I going to make this fight plausible? Naruto's kyuubi chakra can nullify the sand effects and together they make a great combative team. But Gaara does have the upper hand here, against these low (?) class gennin. When they hit a tight spot what are they going to do?

That's right. The kunai! The kunai from the chapter that I wasn't supposed to write.

I had posted that for no particular reason, it just popped up out of nowhere. (Yes, I do like shower scenes x3) Now I'm like 'wow, this could actually HAVE a purpose'

I stared at the monitor in amazement for a moment and then went to praise rii, because apparently, she knew what she was doing.

Still as always, what I want to write doesn't turn out how I want it to be because, as you can see, kyuubi decided he wanted to main and destroy. And yes, this is the first time Sasuke has ever seen Kyuubi's chakra in action. Sure he's seen it "blasting" around back in that scene at Naruto's apartment, but never saw its power at work. Will his envious side arrive? Just what will happen next?

Tune in soon for the next exciting chapter of **Are You That Willing to Break me?**


	19. Chapter 19: Confessions

**Are you that willing to break me?**

_**Words are hard to get out**_

_**my chest constricted**_

_**I want nothing more than to let you see my soul**_

_**but it's hard, and it's painful**_

_**no matter how much I try**_

_**but one day everything will be fine**_

_**the truth will be out**_

_**and I'll smile**_

_**no longer afraid.**_

_**Naruto  
**_

* * *

Everything happened too quickly. We arrived; it was with trained reflexes that I was able to dodge the incoming kunai. I ducked out of the way, the weight in my arms disappeared, and a scream not too far off rang loudly in my ears.

My mind focused sharply as Iruka bent down on his knee, holding his torso with a grimace twisting on his face. _Drip drop, drip drop_ his blood went. The air stilled. Not too far away a hawk soared over the horizon, calling out and circling around us before heading toward the village.

Ragged breathing, I heard it close. Iruka seemed back on his feet, heading to a Naruto that was still shocked into place. Looking back with a narrowed eye and a clearer head (it had been too long since my ANBU days, I decided) there was no mistake in recognizing the bird-shaped hair in the not-too-far-off distance.

I walked forward taking small notice of the Kazekage's son sprawled on the floor, a wicked grin pasted on his unconscious face that sent shivers down my spine because I knew what lay underneath the insanity, underneath the veil that hid nothing. I knew the probable truth that made my veins jump in anger.

I took a deep breath and moved on.

By the time I arrived to my destination Sasuke had managed to gather up to his feet. His unstable posture, unfitting of an Uchiha, didn't even graze his attention. All he seemed to focus on was the scene in front of him but I didn't dare turn back.

"Sasuke."

I called his attention, as I knew he should not be intruding on whatever Iruka and Naruto had to talk about.

The boy—teenager—in front of me paid me no mind. I had to look straight into his eyes for him to finally acknowledge my presence. He gave a scowl.

It was now that I stood only a few inches away from him that I began to notice the ragged down state of my student. Clothes half-torn, sliced at the sleeves and a trickle of sand appeared from here and there. Blood, his or someone else's I could not guess, was beginning to dry off, caking around his skin, some even marring his pallid face.

I put my hand on his shoulder and he tensed slightly before shrugging it off and stepping forward. I could see where he wished to go to but for now I thought Iruka could take care of Naruto himself. They needed some time alone, and I needed to talk to Sasuke as well. With that in mind I signaled Iruka and as he nodded I transported a surprised (not to mention angry) Uchiha, knowing Naruto would be safe in his former sensei's care.

--

I was nervous. That was to be expected but still, my nerves were frayed and I just couldn't gather up the courage to tell Iruka _everything_. At distance, I saw as Kakashi disappeared with Sasuke, whose startled expression gave me small amount amusement before Iruka shifted and I was back to being a nervous wreck. Iruka shifted beside me again, it was then that I noticed the blood gushing from his side as he tried to stop the flow, his hand tight against the wound. There were so many things I wanted to do at that moment: I wanted to hug him, wanted to tell him _every_ doubt, fear, and pain of mine, I wanted to get us both to the hospital—and then it hit me; we were still in the clearing with the guy who had raped me.

My gaze immediately darted towards the red-head, Iruka noticed. I could fear the anger radiating from my former sensei and wondered if he already knew. The thought made me stiffen in reflexive fear.

"Naruto…" Iruka's voice, his touch, they were soft and comforting—reassuring. I felt myself relax against him and exhaustion brought me to a daze. The next thing I know, I'm in his arms, and I feel safe, protected, and every word that Gaara had uttered to me flies off and withers away into nothing. This was _home. _This was_ safe. _This was _real_

And everything he had said, he had made me think—those were the lies.

--

Sasuke hissed like an angry cat as he took in his surroundings. "Take me back!" He fiercely demanded. Naruto _needed _him. He had to go help him! How could Kakashi leave him there with Gaara! He fumed and struggled against his sensei's grip until the older man let out an annoyed huff and tied him up to a nearby tree.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sasuke growled in indignation.

"If I didn't do this you'd go back in no time. Anyway, you aren't the type to listen quietly while I preach." The silver-haired nin stated blandly.

The gennin scowled, thrashing madly against that bonds that held him down. His face twisted in irritations, teeth gritted as he utter threats of bodily harm under his breath.

"Naruto is safe," Kakashi reassured him. "Right now Iruka should be taking him to the hospital while Gaara is transported to the Hokage's office." Like a switch, his struggles stopped, though Sasuke's face took a look of loathing, wishing nothing more than to have the opportunity to finish the red-head off. He wanted at least the satisfaction of the blonde getting his revenge; it made him feel like he hadn't lost his will of killing his brother, it made him feel stronger, reassured that he was doing the right thing.

His face told all. "I've taken you away to warn you about the exams, as well as you're involvement with the Kazekage's **son**." His teacher snapped. Sasuke bristled at the implications. "Because of you and Naruto's foolish thought of getting back at Gaara we are on the brink of war with the Sand! You were both lucky that your foolish actions will be overlooked; we've received information that the Sand had been planning to attack us anyway as they have teamed up with the Village of the Sound. Konoha is preparing itself to counterattack and both of you just ran off putting both your lives in danger! What were you thinking!?" Kakashi finally hissed out. His rant had become louder, and harsher as worry overwhelmed him.

Sasuke seethed at the verbal assault. What was he supposed to do, watch as his teammate got harassed by the red-head and not retaliate? What was _Kakashi _thinking? He wasn't just going to stand back and watch. He wanted to kill the bastard that had touched Naruto and made him suffer; he wanted to make him experience pain for causing the blonde so much turmoil. "He deserved it," Sasuke spat, eyes narrowed with malice and mouth twisted hotly in anger. "Gaara is a bastard that doesn't deserve to live."

A loud _thunk _made him jolt as a kunai pierced the trunk centimeters away from his ear.

"Sasuke," Kakashi stated quite calmly. "Quit seeking revenge: both for your brother and Gaara."

Sasuke's head snapped towards his sensei as if he had grown another head. His eyes widened in shock not having expected the words. A rush of emotions flew by him before he settled safely with anger—it was familiar, comforting; his eyes narrowed back into a bewildered glare. Hate, loathing, and thoughts of murder overwhelmed his senses as he thought of Gaara and Itachi, and wished nothing but the worse for both of them.

Kakashi sighed tiredly, running a hand through his silver hair. "In this line of work I've seen just how bad guys like you can get..." Kakashi murmured, his one visible eye closing with the weariness of a person who'd seen too much. "In the end those who tasted revenge were not satisfied...it ended in tragedy." His tone sounded forlorn, a hint of concern, but Sasuke did not want to listen to this. Nothing was going to change his mind from getting his revenge. How could he let his brother live, knowing he had hurt him, abandoned him, betrayed him…He closed his eyes and turned his head, refusing to acknowledge the words of his teacher.

"You'll only hurt and suffer more, both of you...I didn't want Naruto to take this path as well." Sasuke's heart twisted. "Quit while you're ahead. Even if you are successful in your revenge all you'll be left with is emptiness—"

"What the hell do you know?!" Sasuke snapped, blood boiling. "You don't know anything," he shouted, anger evident, mixed with hurt. His body trembled, shaking wildly as he seethed at his teacher's words. "Don't talk to me like you understand!"

"Hey...calm down..." Kakashi attempted, a bit startled.

The Uchiha paid no heed, his mind fuming and incoherent as he _hurt. _

"What I were to kill the one you love most?" Sasuke then said suddenly. There was a sudden silence as no one spoke. Sasuke felt his heart thundering loudly against his chest, each beat faster than the previous one. He was swimming in dangerous waters and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself. His throat felt thick, his skin cold "How far would you stray from what you just said?" He continued feeling overwhelmed. "I can make you feel true pain."

The silence stretched for what seemed hours when it was only a few minutes. The only sound Sasuke heard was the one of his own erratic breathing. His heart hammered loudly as the minutes flew past. He didn't know what had come over him. He didn't know why he had said all those things but something inside him hurt and he wanted it to stop.

"That would work…" Kakashi finally responded, breaking the heavy silence. He trailed off momentarily, turning to the skies before continuing. "However, unfortunately for me no such person exists; they've already been killed." He replied with a tone of finality, his eye forming a smile as turned back to face his student. Sasuke took a moment to gaze at his teacher and searched, though for what he did not know. Silence lingered once more, and Sasuke was uncomfortable with the revelation.

"I've also lived in a long, hard era, Sasuke. I understand how true pain and loss are…" He looked at his student whose body was tight with hurt, and confusion.

"Well!" He said, startling his student with his change of tone. "We aren't the lucky ones; that is for sure. But we aren't the worst off."

Both sensei and student gazed at one another. Sasuke almost knew the next words that spilled from the jounin's mouth.

"Both you and I have found precious companions."

--

It wasn't much longer before both boys were put to rest in the hospital. The Hokage was mad, but he was also concerned at the red-head that had been brought to his office. He did not know what to do with the boy, how to deal with him and his actions—not to mention that the Kazekage was nowhere to be found. The only family left to the boy were his two siblings, which had been scared witless as soon as they had seen their sleeping brother.

As far as he knew right now, this was the vessel of Shukaku which had brought harm to Naruto in the most unforgivable way. Right now said boy lay unconscious in the hospital, tired from letting out all the truth to his former sensei having had an emotion breakdown. Somehow, Sasuke was involved in all of this though Kakashi was keeping that a secret for some reason or another; the Sandaime had his suspicions. Currently the young Uchiha had been released from the hospital but had not let out foot out of the place, refusing to evacuate Naruto's quarters.

The Sandaime sighed. Lately he had been feeling too old for all of this. He had spoken with the council hoping to hear reason from them; their village had been shamed, and threatened. Yet the council was stubborn, blind, and ambitious. They did not relent on his suggestion to stop the exams. Though the Sandaime agreed it was a bit overboard, at the moment the Kazekage had gone missing and his son had destroyed the innocence of one of their own, and continually threatened the safety of him and the rest of the village; they still had a war to worry about.

Gaara was blood-thirsty though much of it had to do with Shukaku, and the Sandaime very well knew it. It was because of the beast that all of this had happened. The boy was on the edge of insanity and had no one to anchor him, like Naruto had. If only the Yondaime was still alive, he could take this burden from him. He knew it was selfish, but he was growing old.

"Excuse me, Hokage-sama…" a voice broke his musings. It was one of Gaara's siblings, Kankuro if he remembered correctly.

"What do you plan to do with my brother?" The boy questioned. He knew everything that had happened and was worried. Gaara was, after all, his younger brother.

The Sandaime did not know how to answer the question. He had examined the prone figure in his office and had checked the seal that held Shukaku in place. It was different from Naruto's from what he could see. He thought with a little bit of tweaking the boy would become more stable; in fact, the reason he was able to sleep and recuperate at the moment was due to him tinkering with the seal.

"Your brother has committed a great crime," He addressed the gennin. "I do not know if he will ever been forgiven, it is not something that a mere apology will fix. It would, however, be a nice start. I expect that the victim shares an uncontrollable anger at being shamed. However, nothing can change what has already happened, no matter how much one would wish it. This affair can only come to an end by both parties. Let us hope that the chunnin exams will help you all overcome this great burden, and will make you all for the better."

The old man sighed as he said this, looking out the window and turning back to his musings. Perhaps, this war could be stopped. The other village had no idea they've found out before the attempt and he knew that if he played his cards correctly he could avoid it. The Kazekage's children had a large political power backing them up and if the Kazekage continued to remain missing…

Kankuro had turned to face his sleeping brother. Hesitating, he brought his hand up running it through his brother's red hair. He paid heed to the wise words of the Hokage. His brother had been a fool, but they were all to blame for this. If only they had show him love, if only they hadn't been so scared of him nothing would have happened. All he wanted right now was his baby brother to wake up so he and Temari could teach him how to love, and what it was like to be a family. It was time to change. It would be hard, but it was something they had to do.

--

It's not like I felt exhausted or anything, were my first thoughts as I began to regain consciousness. It's just that I didn't feel like opening my eyes. Still I made the effort and winced as I met bright light. I sat up, groaning in satisfaction as I stretched, feeling like I just had the best nap of my life. I slowly recalled everything that had happened, up to the point where I finally spilled my guts rather pathetically to Iruka-sensei. I frowned and sighed before I was startled by the figure that snored before me.

Black tendrils of hair flowed with the gentle breeze that blew from my window. Sasuke's pale complexion shone with exhaustion, making me think he had stayed up all night yesterday or something along those lines. He seemed so tired, and concerned; I could tell by the lines of worry that marred his face, the tightening of his lips, the crease at his eyes. My hand rose of its own accord and slowly met his hair, running through the strands softly. He shifted slightly under my touch and groaned. My hand swiftly returned to my lap and I stared at his half-lidded eyes as he slowly woke up.

"Naruto…?" He mumbled sleepily. He sat up, yawning, and rubbing his eyes before he noticed me awake. He shot up in his chair and stared at me with expressionless eyes and I stared back. After a moment of silence he surprised me by smiling, his happiness and relief shown with every movement of his body. He seemed to be holding himself back from hugging me and I smiled slightly, my cheeks coloring without my knowing. His self-control ran out and he gave in, wrapping his arms around my torso and snuggling at the crook of my neck.

"I'm glad you're okay…" He murmured and I whispered back my reassurances. This would've gone on if we hadn't been interrupted by our two sensei's walking in through the door.

"I hope we're not interrupting anything…" Kakashi's amused voice broke our embrace and I glared at him, pouting childishly. There was a strange feeling fluttering in my chest. Everything was going back to normal. It felt unreal. It felt as if years had passed when it only had been a month and a half.

I sighed softly. A slight pressure tightening at my hand made me glance down to see Sasuke's fingers coiling around mine possessively.

"What brings you here Kakashi-sensei?" I questioned, pulling my legs up and hiding our intertwined hands. I didn't know if he knew already, everything, or if he was only checking up on his injured students. He gave me no answer to much of my frustration, and buried his nose in his perverted book, making me huff out, Sasuke snickering as Iruka bonked the jounin on his head. I blinked bemused.

I smiled brightly at the sight. I felt lighter than I had before. It had felt nice to finally let everything out. Sasuke had been the first to find out of course, and that had led to… Naruto cheeks tinged pink as he looked away from their intertwined hands. They had…well Sasuke had helped him deal, a lot, until finally, he had broken down to Iruka after the confrontation with Gaara. Yesterday… He couldn't believe it had been just yesterday. He had felt nervous and helpless once he arrived at the hospital. He couldn't stop thinking of Sasuke who had disappeared with Kakashi to who-knows-where. He had attempted once more to mask his feelings but he just couldn't and let everything out, Iruka comforting him. In a way, he supposed, Iruka must've known and was only waiting for him to open up, but he had been too blind to see it. _He really cares for me…They all do…_

"Um…" a voice hesitated and I blinked, not realizing there was somebody else here. I tried looking for the owner of the voice and noticed a slight blur of pink standing behind Kakashi. I suddenly realized that I had not seen Sakura since the start of the exams.

"Sakura-chan!" I chirped brightly, waving her over. I felt sort of guilty, not having had had a chance to apologize to her for snapping at her during my abrupt change of attitude.

She hesitated slightly before stepping forward. She looked a bit tired herself now that she wasn't obscured from behind Kakashi. In fact, at her arrival I saw Iruka's shrug and Kakashi's nod before they left inconspicuously. I narrowed my eyes wondering what they were up to.

Sakura had moved closer, her hands twisting about the fabric of her dress. She looked like a nervous wreck. Shifting on her feet, she finally blurted out what she was feeling. "I was so worried about you! You just disappeared after the first exam, and Sasuke was nowhere to be found. Even though no one else had seen you change so abruptly, everyone was really worried about you." She blabbered nervously. I was startled when she suddenly launched herself at me, wrapping her arms around me, her body shaking slightly. I felt my shoulder get wet and my eyes widened as I tried comforting her.

"Are you okay, Naruto?" she whispered, voiced laced with worry. My eyes softened. I knew I hadn't told her, that we had both ignored her in spite of being our teammate. I glanced at Sasuke, who had not said a word since we had been interrupted. I knew he was thinking the same thing as me, and nodded as if to reassure me.

So I pushed Sakura away and she sat on the other chair. She glanced slightly at Sasuke and smiled bashfully, pink dusting at her cheeks slightly making me frown, before telling her an edited version of what had happened.

I reminded of our last mission and she nodded saying she had noticed how closed off I had become. Slowly, I began recounting how I had gotten lost and captured and…tortured my words implying what had really happened though I could not say them myself. I squeezed Sasuke's hand tightly as I heard Sakura gasp in horror, her eyes glazing with tears though she did not cry. She bit her lip to stop it from quivering as I continued my story.

"Sakura-chan…" I hesitated. "There is something else that I have to tell you…" I glanced at Sasuke noticing the horrified expression he suddenly took. I knew he was nervous, and knew that he was thinking of Sakura's possible reactions. I was too, don't get me wrong, but she had to know someday, and it might as well be now.

"I…" I trailed off. "We…" My throat felt constricted as I thought furiously what I was supposed to say in this situation. I gulped, closing my eyes as I blurted out. "Sasuke and I are together!"

Everything was silent, then Sasuke groaned beside me and I opened my eyes only to groan myself. I had just noticed the audience outside my door; I had just told the entire Rookie 9 that Sasuke and I were together!

* * *

I am, completely, and utterly, sorry. I took ages to update, and why? Because I get distracted too easily. But finally after making myself open the document and read the whole story over I was struck with inspiration and wrote wrote wrote. And here you have it. I'm going to attempt to finish the story before the summer, though I know I still have some stuff to cover. Well, we'll see.

As you can see I put the KakaxSasu confrontation that was supposed to come after Sasuke got the seal, I thought it as a good idea to do it now that he is already having doubts, this way he has an early start in realizing revenge is not the way to go. It fit anyway

Do review, it makes me very happy, as we're reaching the 300 mark!

**_R. _**


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